Somethings Not Right
by Terrasa
Summary: *Complete* Duo has been having dreams where Heero is depressed and suicidal. Are they real and can Duo get to Heero before its too late? 1+2, 3+4 This was my first fic... you have been warned -.-
1. Disclaimer

Ummm… this was my first fic… so it's not really good. Lot of mistakes and stuff.

Disclaimer: Do not own any of the characters from Gundam Wing. So do not sue me please!

Warning: Future Angst, Supernatural, 1+2+1 and might lead up to 3+4. Language, umm scary stuff?

Notes: FIC IS NOW COMPLETE!! So please r&r and tell me what ya think! There are fifteen chapters, the chapters are a little short though. 

Summary: Heero's having nightmares and becomes suicidal. Duo tries to help, Lots of other problems occur. Stuff like that! Enjoy Enjoy!

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	2. CH1. The Message in the Dream

It's the end of the war, and for one person there is absolutely nothing planned for his future. Duo Maxwell sat at his small table with only one chair in his small dirty home on L2. He had moved back here in hopes of finding something meaningful to do with his life. But as he sat there eating his stale bread with a small amount of butter, all he could think about is his failures. He was a nobody, he never got phone calls, no on ever came to visit him, he was alone.

Well Duo wasn't alone all the time. At night a lonely cobalt boy would occupy his dreams. Heero Yuy, his once fellow pilot who was now staying at one of the many estates Quatre had. From what he could find out, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei were all living there as well. Duo of course had been invited but he refused, saying he needed time to find himself. But as the days grew on, Duo felt himself wishing he would have taken up that offer, if only to see Heero.

His dreams were very real like. Duo would talk to Heero about there days, there feelings. But every morning Duo would wake up to the realization that they were dreams and only that. The conversations, even though they seemed so real, were all in his mind. 

So here he was pondering his dreams while eating his poor mans breakfast. He was always hungry it seemed. But Duo couldn't afford more, and once again he scolded himself on his refusal to stay where he now knew he wanted to be. With Heero. Maybe it wasn't too late after all. Quatre sure wouldn't be less than happy to see him, but what of the others. They probably don't care too much for the joker who would annoy them once again with his wise crack jokes and comments. And there was nothing to say that Heero even thought once about Duo.

Duo sighed sitting up, he was really depressed lately, Heero had not been in his dreams as much. Maybe only two times a week where before it was ever night. He wondered what Heero was doing now. In thinking about him Duo wandered over to the couch and fell asleep with thoughts of meeting him again in his dreams.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Duo stood just outside a clearing of grass surrounded by trees. Inside the clearing stood Heero laying on his back looking at the pale blue sky. Duo was hesitant to go up to him for some reason he did not know. As he was about to step out of the trees to greet his dream friend, Heero said something that had Duo stop in his tracks.

"I want to die." From what Duo could see, a single tear ran down his right cheek as Heero closed his eyes. Duo's breath caught in his throat. He swallowed the lump in throat as he approached slowly.

"H-Heero?" It seemed he had startled him for Heero was on his feet in a defensive crouch glaring at Duo for a second before realizing who he was. His body then relaxed out of his crouch as he took in Duo standing there in front of him.

"Hello Duo." He said while sitting back down on the grass motioning for Duo to lay next to him.

"You didn't mean that did you?… About wanting to die?" Duo looked at his face searching for 

signs that he knew he wouldn't find. Heero was always too well hidden behind his mask, but to his surprise Heero dropped his head and looked at the ground as if ashamed of himself. 

"I just don't feel I am worth anything, I live my life doing the same things every day. Nothing is… meaningful anymore. I don't have the will to live anymore, I'm just tired of life." Duo eyes widened at what Heero had said. 

::Heero would never think things like that would he? I must be going crazy to be dreaming of him being depressed::

Heero sighed before looking into Duo bright eyes. "And I think I'm really losing it, to be seeing you in my dreams all the time." Duo's eyes widened even more as he heard Heero saying he was just a dream. 

::Could he really be dreaming the same thing as me? Us both talking to each other in our dreams? Not likely… probably just my hopes shaping my dream::

"Looks like were both crazy buddy, of course I know I've already lost it. But dreaming of you is what keeps me going, at least I never have those awful nightmares about the war anymore." Duo exclaimed while rising to his feet and stretching.

Heero looked at him puzzled for a moment until Duo began to speak again. "Why do you really want to die Heero?"

Duo saw Heero take a deep breath as if preparing for a long speech. "I hate myself, and I know everyone else must hate me too. Especially you, otherwise you would probably have stayed at the estate like the rest of the pilots. I was so cold to you, I never forgave myself for all the cruelty that I showed you." Duo felt tears in his eyes, this dream was just way to real, but deep down he felt Heero would never say those things in reality, but he wished it was true. He wanted him to look at Duo like he did in the dreams. "No one in the estate seems to like me much either, I'm just not cut out to peace time. All I am good for is combat and war. I'm nothing with out that." Heero looked at the ground tracing the rocks with his eyes. Duo could see an internal battle was going on inside his head.

"Heero, dying isn't going to solve anything, you just have to learn to cope. And find something to do, or something you want and go get it." Heero seemed to ponder Duo's words.

"I've already lost what I want." As Heero looked into his eyes Duo felt a shiver run down his spine. 

"What did you lose?"

Heero's eyes softened and Duo could see the sadness inside of them. "You." 

Duo felt his mouth drop and eyes widened, then he came to realize that this was only a dream.

::Not real, Not Real! Heero would never say something like that in real life::

"Th-Then why don't you just come and… visit or something… I mean you never even showed any interest in me or where I went." 

"You wouldn't want to see me not after what I did to you."

*flashback*

"Ne, Heero what ya doin?" Duo bounded up behind Heero on his laptop placing his arms around Heero's neck trying to get a look at the screen. Heero jumped up and pushed Duo to the floor, hard. His eyes widened as he saw the look of hurt on Duo's face.

"Don't touch me." Heero said coolly as he stared back at his laptop which was now shut hiding his journal which he had been writing in. And at that moment he had been writing about Duo. His heart had nearly jumped out of him when Duo put his arms around him, and before he could think he had thrown Duo off. Now Duo lay on the floor looking at Heero with such sadness in his eyes. But he blinked and the sadness had disappeared replaced by Duo's almost too cheerful smile. 

"Ah, Gomen! I just wanted to say… Goodbye." Duo looked down at the ground before continuing. "I'm not gonna stay with you guys at the estate, I think I'll take up salvaging in L2, that's where I used to live ya know, in case you forgot."

Heero did know, he knew more about Duo than the braided boy realized. But he never would admit it. He just didn't know how to.

Duo got up and walked to the door. He stood there staring at Heero as if waiting for him to say something, but Heero just stood there staring. Duo mock saluted him and with one last smile he shut the door and was gone from Heero's life. Standing in the middle of the now empty room, Heero felt his heart tighten and his stomach squeeze into a knot. He fell to the floor eyes wide, ::What have I done? I didn't even say goodbye. I. Didn't.::

*end flashback*

Duo knew what Heero was talking about. When Duo had left that day he had cried all the way to L2 on the shuttle. Nothing was worse than finding out that Heero really did hate him. The realization of it had made him stronger though, as days went by he began to almost forget about Heero. Until the dreams started happening.

Duo saw Heero look down and he was about to say something when his eyes widened and he put his hand on his stomach as if in pain.

"Heero!" Duo rushed to touch him but he disappeared before he could tell what happened.

~~~~~~~~~

Duo awoke sweating and panting on the couch. ::What is this feeling. Its like that wasn't just a dream, and Heero was really in pain.:: He had a sickening feeling in his stomach, and as he figured what it was he raced to the bathroom and leaned over the toilet emptying his breakfast into the bowl

::Something's not right, I shouldn't be getting so worked up about a dream, Heero isn't going to kill himself, he isn't, he is probably relaxing right now by Quatre's pool without even thinking of me:: 

Even as Duo tried to convince himself, the strange feeling in him wouldn't go away. ::Oh Heero I hope you don't do anything stupid!:: Duo walked over to his computer. ::Maybe I can find out something, anything that would put me at ease. He searched through files on Earth trying to locate anything on Heero. After about an hour or so he finally found a recent doctors prescription.

"Ah, Damnit!"


	3. CH2. The Truth

Duo looked at the copy of the prescription on the computer, it was a heavy sleeping pill. One that not many people use anymore because you could overdose easily. 

"What the hell is Heero doing with _Zerhtricycl." _Zerhtricycl or Zp. was a drug made especially for the trips to colonies in shuttles that can take hours and days. It was almost stopped being used because many people were getting sick and some died on shuttles too far away from a hospital to get treatment for accidentally overdosing. ::Heero hasn't been going on shuttles, maybe he hasn't been able to sleep, but why would he chose this drug when there are others without the risk?:: 

Duo tapped his fingers on the keys of the computer a couple of times. His forehead was starting to crease as he worried what Heero was up to. ::God he better not be thinking of overdosing, but I guess if you didn't want anyone to find out your death was a suicide, then that would be the best way to go. Gah! what are you thinking about? Heero isn't the kind of person who would do that kind of thing. And even if he was thinking of suicide I'm sure Quatre would be able to tell.:: 

Suddenly Duo had an idea. "His laptop that's it! If I can somehow get into that maybe I can find out something more." 

The next three hours Duo spent trying to get into Heero's laptop. "Hmmm… well at least I know he still HAS his laptop, not that he would ever get rid of it. But its gonna be hell getting past all his security." Duo scratched his head and started the long process of hacking into Heero's computer. ::Heh! If anyone can get into the perfect soldiers computer I can. Just you wait Heero!::

~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero sat at the dinning room table looking at his plate of food. Quatre was at the head of the table with Trowa to his left and Wufei to his right. Then there was about ten (Heero lost count) of Quatre's sisters between where he sat at the far corner of the table and where the three pilots sat. Right now he could here them laughing and talking about Quatre's latest business disaster. Of course he was not in the conversation. Ever since 'She' arrived.

"Heero! Nice day isn't it?" Heero internally groaned and turned his head to acknowledge the girl sitting next to him. She was one of Quatre's sisters, and she had come to be obsessed with Heero. He had found out that she had told Quarte that she liked him, so Quatre trying to be the 'good friend' was trying to hook Heero up with the said sister. Heero had no intention of liking her, Even if her voice was not as squeaky as Relena's. But all Quatre ended up doing was distancing Heero from his fellow ex pilots.

He sighed and looked at the girl with blond short bob hair and brown eyes. She was one of the few Winner's that had brown eyes. Most had blue so she told him. That wasn't the only thing 'she' told him, she seemed to love to talk. And every time she rambled on his chest started to hurt when reminded of another talkative person whom was far away.

He realized that she was waiting for an answer, so he quickly shoved his thoughts away. "No, I don't see this day as any different from the other days." She laughed at his response much to his annoyance. Finally after some more rambling she left him alone to talk with one of her other sisters.

He quickly picked up the food of his plate and dropped it under the table where the two family dogs were waiting. The small dogs were accustomed to Heero giving them his food and so were ready to devour the meal. 

Heero looked back across the table at his once friends, he hadn't even talked to them in weeks. ::I wonder if they even know I am here?:: He got up and excused himself from the table turning to see that his "friends" didn't even know he was leaving.

::Well I guess I cant blame them, I don't deserve friends. All I am doing here is using up his money, Quatre would probably be glad to see me go. Well he wont have to worry about me much longer anyway.::

Heero walked up to his room on the other side of the estate. Stepping in he felt a chill of cold air from the window being left open. He didn't bother to get anything warmer on, or to even close the window. ::I don't deserve to be warm, not what after all I've done:: He walked over and sat down at his computer. A beeping noise caught his attention and his eyes widened. Someone had gotten into his files. Someone had hacked into HIS computer!

His breath quickened as he clicked on the beeping icon. 

"SHIT!" Heero stared at the status bar telling what was opened recently. Someone had read his journal!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duo was in. He had finally after hours of trying, got into Heero's laptop files. Though he was thrilled with his success he was soon shocked at what he found. It appeared Heero had a journal. Duo would have laugh at knowing that the perfect soldier had something like a diary if he was not worried about Heero's health. He looked at the dates of entries and decided to start at an entry a week earlier, he just wanted to make sure Heero was alright, not read into his personal thoughts too much. 

As he started reading he gasped and put his hand over his mouth in shock. "Oh my god!" He quickly shut the program and began searching for the next shuttle to Earth. Duo closed his eyes for a minute thinking over what he had read.

__

Journal: Feb 15

Haven't slept for three days. For some reason when I lay down and think of the dreams I keep having, I don't want to fall asleep. I have no right to dream about him. Soon it will be over though.

Journal: Feb 16

Picked up prescription drug. Plan on hinting to Quatre that I am having sleeping problems so he doesn't suspect anything wrong with taking sleeping pills. Sat at dinning room table again and felt sick watching Quatre, Wufei, and Trowa down at the end of the table having fun. I am just a burden to them. 

Didn't eat anything again today. Gave food to the dogs.

Journal: Feb 17

Had another dream , he was in it like all the others, we talked like usual. I hate them, why do they torture me so and taunt me with what I can not have. If only I hadn't been so stupid. I hate myself.

Journal: Feb 18

I plan on doing it in a couple of days. I have barely eaten this month. I seem really pale, nobody has noticed though, perhaps they don't want to notice. I just hope when I am gone that they will be happy.

Journal: Feb 19

Slept for an hour. Had dream again with him in it, woke up with stomach ach and had to throw up. Possible side effect of the drug. Calculated that it would take 4 pills. I plan on taking 6 pills two each hour two lessen chances that they will find out it was not an accident. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero stared at his computer for a half hour. ::What am I going to do? Who would hack into my computer? No one ordinary person could get in. Only person I know skilled enough would be…:: 

Heero began a search on his computer for any computer that was connected to his in the last couple of hours. About thirty minutes later he came across something. He had been able to trace the connection all the way to L2.

__

"The only person I know in L2 would be Duo… and he is the only one I know who could pull something like this off… SHIT!" Heero slammed his fists on the desk. "This is not good."

He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. ::But why would Duo want to look into my personal files after all this time? I hope he doesn't figure anything out, I mean he could have looked at any of my journal files, doesn't mean he read any giving myself away. Shit, what am I thinking, even if he did read them he wouldn't care whether or not I kill myself.:: 

"I'll do it tomorrow." Heero closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he started the long process of deleting ever trace of himself that ever existed on his laptop.

::Delete files… ok… Delete all Journal entries…. ok…. done… Mission starts tomorrow::


	4. CH3. And So He Came

Duo sat on the shuttle on his way to Earth. By what he had read in Heero's journal he didn't have much time. Duo was furious. ::What the hell is wrong with that guy, what makes him think that he deserves death? No one deserves that, not even him! When I get there…:: He sat fuming for the rest of the ten hours he still had left on his flight. His stomach was churning with anticipation. He hadn't seen his friends for a long time. But he really missed Heero, he thought about him every day, how could he not with him being in his dreams. 

Duo sighed looking out the window. ::What did Heero mean about the person in his dreams. Hmm now that I think about it he mentioned his stomach aching. Maybe he really was in my dream.:: Duo's thoughts were cut short by the announcement that they were landing. Clenching his fists he took a deep breath and tried to prepare his mind for what he would have to do. ::Calm down, Calm down. Have to talk with Heero, make him change his mind. If he wont then I will force him:: 

He grinned. "This is gonna be a long trip."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero found himself planning his day. :: I need to take two pills, and force myself to stay awake for an hour to take the other pills, then hopefully I wont pass out… hmm not likely, but four pills will be enough. And if I do manage to stay awake for the two hours I will have completed my last mission successfully.:: Heero decided to start tonight when no on would be suspicious. 

He walked downstairs to the dining room. Looking at his friends he smiled inside. ::They look happy, I hope they will get over my death soon. They may suffer a little, but I never deserved friends like them in the first place. He sat at the table sighing and began what was suppose to be his last meal. He knew he looked horrible, he just hoped no one else will pick up on it today since they hadn't any of the other days. ::Not like they really care, they don't even see that I am in pain, I thought Quatre was suppose to sense these sort of things:: 

Suddenly Heero felt his chest hurt. ::Even if Quatre sensed it, he wouldn't do anything, I'm not worth it. I don't deserve this.:: he looked down at his food, preparing to give it to the dogs when he saw something in the corner of his eye that made him turn slightly and gasp.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duo parked his rented car a block from the mansion. He was planning on sneaking in to see if he could watch Heero and assess the situation. He snuck around back and found himself in the kitchen. People were busily cleaning plates and paid no attention to the boy who stuck to the shadows. From what Duo could tell, if they were cleaning up pots then there was a good chance that everyone was in the dining room still. ::Now if only I could find out where that is::

After roaming around for ten minutes he finally found himself outside of the large rectangle room. He peeked his head around and saw that there were about fifteen people seated at the table. He could see Quatre, Trowa and Wufei at one end laughing at some joke Quatre made. ::But where is Heero?:: Just then he looked all the way at the other end of the table and spotted him. 

Heero looked pale and way too thin. His cheeck bones were starting to sink in and he had bags under his eyes. ::What the hell! Does no one notice that Heero looks like dead run over? They are not even looking at him. No wonder hes depressed.:: Duo watched for a couple more minutes, noticing that not once did any of the other ex pilots look in Heero's direction. All though something interesting did catch his eye. 

The girl next to Heero seemed to be flirting uncontrollably with Heero, and of course Heero looked half paying attention. ::Hah! He looks the same as when I use to ramble on in front of him.:: Suddenly his chest hurt at the memory of Heero and him during the war. How he missed seeing Heero during the war. Duo looked around the room and his anger rose again. He had to do something. There was no way he would let Heero kill himself, he would do everything in his power to stop him. ::I just hope I don't make things worse::

Duo came out of his hiding place and started to slowly walk towards the table. He saw that the first person who noticed him was Heero. ::Well he always noticed things before everyone else, that's the perfect soldier for you, well not so perfect anymore:: Duo stared into the dark cobalt eyes he hadn't looked into for almost a year and a half, and he glared. He was angry and he knew Heero could tell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero stared in shock. standing before him was the person he had dreamed about, the person who he longed most to see, but as he looked into Duo's angry violet eyes he shivered. ::Oh shit, Duo looks pissed. Well at least you know he read your journal. SHIT what am I gong to do?:: Heero looked around quickly. He noticed that everyone else had become quiet and they were all looking at a very pissed off Duo who wasn't taking his eyes off of Heero. ::What do I do? Need …escape… There! The door behind me, now if only I can make it.::

Heero sat up fast and bolted from the table as fast as he could. But in his unhealthy state it wasn't fast enough, Heero felt Duo's weight hit him and he fell to the floor. Duo sat on top of Heero pinning him to the dinning room floor. "Aw ah ah Heero, your not getting away from me. Now be a good little boy and stop struggling so I don't have to get rough."

Heero could feel the eyes of everyone in the room staring at him lying face down on the floor. He quicked a glance at Quatre to see him wide eyed and standing up. "D-duo! What are you doing here?"

Duo glared at Quatre angrily, he was too mad at him to respond. Quatre backed up a step staring in shock. He had never seen Duo so angry before.

Duo pulled Heero to his feet and pushed him back down into his chair. He then moved some dished aside and sat on the table directly in front of Heero cross-legged. He took up the plate there and scooped up some of the eggs onto the fork. He grinned at Heero who's eyes were wide with shock. "Open up!" he moved the fork in front of Heero's face like someone would a child, making Heero glare at the braided boy in front of him. "Aww come on you don't want to get egg on your face do you?" 

Heero's eyes widened again. What was Duo doing? He wasn't going to play this game, Duo had no right to interfere in his life. He tried to stand up but found that both his arms were stuck. He looked down and noticed that his arms were handcuffed to the chair arms. Wide eyed Heero looked at the grinned boy in front of him "W-when?"

"Aww now come on Heero, your not getting soft in these times of peace are ya? Or is it just because you haven't eaten barely anything for a month." His face took in on a serious look as he said this, and Heero could here Quatre gasp from across the table. He looked down at the other end of the room and saw three very wide sets of eyes staring at him. "Now, open up for the chu-chu train little boy, before the coals get cold!"

Seeing as he had no choice, Heero gave in and opened his mouth. He could see Duo looking seriously again as he took in his sickly appearance. ::Why did he come here? I didn't want him to see me like this.::

After the fourth bite of the eggs he felt he couldn't eat anymore. "Duo… cant eat anymore." He looked pleadingly into the serious face across from him. He saw a flash of sadness in Duo's eyes but it disappeared as he sighed and put down the fork.

"Well of course you cant, Now are you going to tell me why the HELL you haven't been eating properly, or am I gonna have to figure it out on my own. And let me tell you I have a pretty good idea but I wanna here it from you." Heero just stared at him then looked down ashamed. Duo sighed again and started to take off the handcuffs. "Alright we'll talk later, but for now I want you to sleep, from the looks of it you havent been. God Heero! You look like shit!" Heero led Duo out of the room, glancing one last time at the shocked faces. 

::Mission failed::

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duo couldn't believe how weak Heero had become. He looked like he was going to collapse as he led Duo down to his room. ::And he could only take four bites of food! Only four!:: He walked into the door Heero stopped at. As he stepped inside he felt the freezing temperature of the room and frowned. 

"God Heero, you really wanted to die didn't you?" He glared at Heero who was looking anywhere but him and walked to the window to shut it. "Come here." Heero obeyed the command and sat next to Duo who was sitting on the edge of the bed. His eyes softened as he looked into Heero's eyes. 

"Why didn't you get help Heero? You could have told someone?" Heero could see now that Duo was in pain. His violet eyes showed sadness and hurt.

::Oh god, I ended up hurting him again! Why cant I ever do anything right? I cant even kill myself, well I never could kill myself. I always failed, I'm weak. And now my weakness is hurting him again!:: Heero clamped his hands into a fist and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Duo, I never meant to hurt you. You weren't suppose to find out about this." He looked up and knew he said something wrong for Duo's was once again furious, even more so than before.

"You. Don't think… I would be hurt when you killed yourself?" Duo tried to control his temper. His breathing was growing harsher as he looked at Heero who know looked afraid. "Heero.." he took a deep breath calming down before continuing. "I would be hurt more if you died, I would be hurt because I wasn't here to help you. I am glad that I made it in time to stop you from doing something stupid." He wrapped his arms around Heero giving him a gentle hug.

Heero breath quickened as Duo hugged him. He wrapped his arms around him returning the hug. ::This feels good:: Then he jumped up breaking the hug. ::I don't deserve this! How dare I touch him after what I did.:: 

Duo looked up at him sadly. "Heero, we will talk more later, you need to sleep. And I need to go talk to some people around here." He led Heero to the bed and gently helped him into bed. Heero had to admit that he was tired. And it was nice having someone around helping him for a change. "And don't you dare do anything stupid you hear me? If you do I swear to Shinigami I will hunt you down and make you miserable!" He looked seriously at Heero. "Promise me Heero, that at least while I'm here you wont try anything suicidal! I swear somewhere in that programming J did on ya, you turned out to be pretty messed up in that head of yours!" 

Heero scowled at him, which earned him a grin from Duo. Seeing now that Duo was just trying to lighten up the mood with his statement he sighed. "Hai, I wont." 

Duo beamed down at Heero who's eyes were slowly drifting shut. "Arigato" he said while lightly brushing Heeros bangs from his eyes. Soon Heero was asleep and Duo took one last glance and drifted out of the room in search of three ex-gundam pilots.


	5. CH4. Pictures of Death

__

Notes: Found it Might be a little confusing, so from now on dreams will have *** before and after.

Duo walked around the huge house, lost. ::Gah! Why do they have to make this house so big?:: He was hoping that he would be able to find Quatre and the others soon, but he didn't even know where to look. ::I could always ask someone.:: He sighed and looked around for anyone. 

Just then he heard voices from a near by room with huge double doors. ::Aha! Bingo:: He walked in quietly as to not let anyone know he was there. Quatre was there sitting behind a big oak desk at the far end of the long office looking room. Trowa was leaning against a wall of books with Wufei next to him sitting in a big maroon chair. All looked pretty miserable and Duo was hoping that his little show had some how opened their eyes.

"What am I going to do? How did I not see the condition he was in?" Quatre had his head in his hands leaning over his desk.

"No one is blaming you Quatre, we all are to blame just as much as you for not noticing." Trowa walked over and put a comforting hand on Quatre's shoulder. 

"Yes but--" Quatre started.

"But how is it that someone thousands of miles away knew Heero's condition but the people who were only ten FEET didn't even see how much he resembles a skeleton!" Duo walked out from where he had been observing them. Quatre jumped to his feet in surprise then looked guiltily at the floor. "Lemme ask you this Quat, when was the last time you talked to Heero? Or rather even noticed his appearance at the dinner table? And why the HELL was he way down at the other end of the table by HIMSELF?" Duo was now yelling and he had to take a deep breath to calm down and continue. "Your suppose to be his friends, you know how much of a problem Heero has with people! It took him a whole goddamn war to warm up to us, and then he is right back alone again. No wonder he was depressed."

Wufei stood up and walked in front of Duo. "We are sorry we didn't notice he hasn't been eating, or… sleeping" he swallowed the lump in his throat before continuing. "And we'll do everything we can to help make it right again, but I must ask what were his motives? What is he trying to accomplish by starving?"

Duo sighed and put his hands behind is head. He started pacing back and forth before giving an answer. "He is depressed, As far as I can tell it is because he feels he is a burden to you. I guess he doesn't feel welcome here… or anywhere. So his only solution would be death. He was planning on overdosing on _Zerhtricycl." _Duo choked on the last word and looked up into the shocked faces of his friends.

"Why Zp? isn't that supposed to be a sleeping drug?" Trowa asked.

"Zp is a dangerous sleeping drug that can easily be overdosed on, but I thought they stopped making it?" Wufei answered looking somewhat confused towards Duo.

"No they only stopped making them on the colonies, but that's besides the point. Heero has them and was going to take them in order to make his death seem like an accident and not a suicide attempt. In other words he probably wanted to make his death less painful on us."

Quatre looked up after Duo's explanation and frowned. "But how did you find all of this out?"

Duo laughed and sat down in one of the big chairs in front of the desk. He grinned at his friends. "I hacked into Heero's computer, and oddly enough our Mr. Perfect soldier keeps a journal there." He looked back at Quatre's shocked face. "I was only meaning to read his latest entries just to make sure he was alright. But what I found scared the shit out of me…. so…. I hopped on the next flight here and--"

"Thank Allah you're here!" Quatre smiled at Duo. "I'm sorry I screwed up, I just hope we aren't too late and Heero will… forgive us." he looked down at the ground quickly before meeting Duo's eyes once again. "I'm glad you came Duo, lets just hope that we can help Heero now that we know… By the way where is he?"

"Ah… I put him to bed.. But don't worry, he promised me he wouldn't do anything stupid." Duo got up and started walking towards the door. "Well I am pretty beat myself, I think ill go lay down too. You wouldn't believe the annoying people I had to sit next to on my flight. And I thought I talked a lot!"

"Ah just wait a minute and ill get you a room." Quatre started to call for a servant but Duo held up a hand.

"Don't bother Quat I'm gonna stay in Heero's room for a while to keep an eye on him." Duo then bounded out of the door before he would be offered something else. He walked around for a minute and then groaned. "Dangit! Where did Heero's room run off to?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*******

Heero took in his surroundings. He was once again in the clearing of trees, laying down. He looked up to the sky which was now showing stars as if it were night. Yet there was no hint of darkness anywhere else and he could see his surroundings as easily as day. He felt calm and relaxed in his dream world just like he always did. But where was Duo? Usually he would be here by now.

As if hearing his thoughts Duo suddenly appeared in front of him. "Hmmm I must have fallen asleep, that was fast! Usually it takes me a couple hours. The stress must really be getting to me, and geez Heero its your fault ya know!" Duo bounced about before claiming the spot next to where Heero laid. Sitting cross legged he glanced at Heero. "You know you don't look bad in my dreams, you look healthy." 

He looked down on himself and realized that Duo was right. His skin wasn't so pale and grey. "Duo. Why did you come here?" 

Sighing Duo glanced at the stars in the sky. "You know Heero, you may not think it but people really do care about you. Anyway, after looking through your journal how could I not?"

Heero glared at Duo angrily. "You had no right to look through my Journal."

"No RIGHT? I had every right after you telling me you wanted to kill yourself! I was scared, I didn't know if you were serious or not. I know you said it in my dream but I had a sick feeling and was worried. I was only going to make sure you were ok." He put his head in his hands.

Heero could see his shoulders starting to shake. "Duo, what's wrong?" He pulled the braided boy into a hug. He looked at Heero with tears in his eyes.

"I- I was so… scared." He sobbed into Heero's embrace. And then he was gone, Duo disappeared. 

******

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero awoke to a soft sobbing sound. He looked over the side of the bed and saw Duo curled up into a ball. "Duo? Are you alright?"

Duo looked up at Heero's concerned face and forced a smile. "Ah… sorry I just had a bad dream." He stood up wiping his tears on his black long sleeve shirt. For the first time since Duo had come Heero took in his appearance. 

Duo looked to have grown a little, but he was still most likely the shortest of the five pilots. His hair was still in his normal braid but looked a couple inches longer, falling above the back of his knees. Skin tight blue jeans complemented his thin features. In Heero's eyes he looked even more stunning than he had ever seen him. 

He walked up to sit beside Heero on the bed. "How are you feeling?" He brushed the messy bangs away from Heero's eyes to no success as they just fell into place again. 

"My stomach hurts." Duo winced lowering his eyes and sighing for the umpteenth time since his visit. 

"Yeah well that is to be expected. Your stomach isn't used to having food in it, but once you start eating normally again…" He looked seriously at Heero. "That is… if you are willing to get better."

"……"

Violet eyes looked into Heero's cobalt ones searching for answers. "Heero, no one deserves to die, especially you." With that he got up and walked to the door. "Stay here I'm gonna go see if I can find the kitchen and some food for you.

Heero groaned at the mention of food and his stomach started to ache again. ::What does he know what I deserve? I killed to many, haunted by to much, no one deserves death more than me.:: He leaned back on the pillow closing his eyes thinking of Duo and how good he looked and sounded. ::I've missed him.:: 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*****

Heero opened his eyes and found himself in a dark metal room chained to the walls. ::I must be dreaming:: He thought as he took in his surroundings. There was a big metal iron door at the end of the room. He could hear voices outside of it. Some sounded like screams and cries for help others were laughing and joking merrily. 

::What am I doing here?:: His hands were above his head chain to the ceiling. His feet were free but he found for some reason he could not move them. Heero's breath increased as footsteps sounded outside of the door.

The door slowly creaked open and all that could be seen was darkness, nothing. His eyes widened as he sensed something to his right. Slowly turning his head he jumped as he saw a young man standing there staring at him. ::Why didn't I see him come in?:: Heero's eyes widened as the man slowly moved closer to him and stopped to where he was only two inches from Heero's face.

"My, My. What a pretty little thing you are! To think someone so young was the one who killed me." He smiled and turned his head towards the door. Heero could see he had an old OZ uniform on and had short red hair. His eyes were a dark brown that sent shivers down Heero's spine as he took in the hate they showed. He followed the mans gaze towards the door. 

There stood a little boy whom also had red hair and brown eyes. He was wearing overalls and a striped red and black shirt underneath. In his hand he had a piece of paper. He held it up and show it. From what Heero could see it was a messy crayon drawing of a building on fire. In the sky were giant black birds that seemed to be spitting out fire.

Turning his head to where the man had been, Heero found that he was gone. The boy walked up to where Heero was and stood in front of him. "Wanna color with me?" He asked Heero before sitting down to draw on the paper spread on the ground. All of a sudden pictures started to appear on the walls out of no where.

Heero fell to the ground realizing that he could now move.

Curiously he walked to the pictures on the walls to get a better look. More and more started to appear covering the walls and other pictures in what seemed to be a never ending cycle. He gasped as he realized what the pictures were of. Dead bodies drawn in building windows, Dead bodies in the parks, Death and fire everywhere. "NO! STOP" He yelled at the little boy who just continued to color on as more and more pictures appeared. "Stop it!" 

The boy looked at Heero and smiled. He raised his hands to show the new picture that he had been working on. A boy lay in a puddle of blood on a bed. His eyes were open and he had a smile on his face. Heero's heart beat faster as he realized who the boy in the picture was. The boy's cobalt eyes seemed to move as if the picture were alive. and he looked directly at Heero and silently said something. Even though Heero couldn't hear anything, he knew what the boy had said.

"You cant live without killing."

**********

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duo came into the room to find Heero panting and moaning on the bed, his eyes were closed but shut tight like he was in pain. He put down the tray of food and rushed to Heero's side. "Heero wake up." He lightly shook him on the shoulders in an attempt to arouse him. 

Heero sat up panting and pushed Duo aside and darted to the bathroom. Duo followed the shaken boy and found him dry heaving at the side of the toilet. He kneeled down and brushed Heero's bangs out of his face. "Here why don't you drink some water. It'll be better to throw up something other than nothing." He got up and filled a near by glass with water.

Heero gratefully drank it but soon was over the toilet again. After a couple minutes he calmed down and sat with his head against the wall. Duo took the liberty took clean Heero up as best he could before leading him back to bed. "I take it you aren't going to be able to eat anything then." Duo mumbled while tucking Heero back into bed.

"Please…" Heero's voice came out hoarse and he took a deep breath before continuing. He looked pleadingly at Duo. "Just let me die."


	6. CH5. Stomach pains

Comments: Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad some people actually like the story so far. I know its not that great, but this is my first fan fiction story so be nice and more reviews would be reeeeeallllly appreciated! So without further stalling ---*--- here is the fifth chapter!

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"Just let me die."

Duo just stared there wide eyed at the weak looking boy on the bed. It would have been amusing if not so serious. In the couple of hours he had been here Duo had seen more emotion from Heero than he had showed in all of the war. Anger, sadness, hurt, scared… he could see all of these play in Heero's mind. It made Duo's heart wrench at the thought of what he must have gone through for such a drastic change to take place. "H-Heer-."

Duo was cut off by a knock at the door. 

After a second of silence, Quatre's opened the door and stuck his head in slowly, his eyes widened at the emotions radiating out of the room. He looked at Heero's frail form on the bed and couldn't choke back the sob that escaped from his mouth. He put his hand over his mouth quickly and backed into the hallway. 

"Quatre! What the hell do you think you are doing?" Duo shut the door behind his as he stepped into the hall. "He is in enough emotional turmoil as it is, he doesn't need to see us breaking down as well." 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I couldn't help it." He now was crying freely with tears running down his face. Quatre looked like he had just received his death sentence. 

Pulling himself together quickly he wiped his eyes and took a shaky breath. Duo was staring at him with a 'I'm not in the mood to deal with this' expression. After finally calming down Quatre managed to speak. 

"I- I thought you could use some blankets, and wanted to ask you if you wanted me to bring in an extra bed." He managed to squeak that out without his voice shaking too much. He then took a good look at Duo who was now pacing back and forth in the hallway. "Duo? Are you alright, you look a little pale."

"Ah… I'm fine, but do you think you can keep an eye on Heero for me. I think I need some fresh air." Duo walked away not waiting for a reply. He semi heard Quatre saying something about shifts on watching Heero but his mind was in too much turmoil to process any new information. 

He found himself outside in a big garden thirty minutes later. There were apple trees arranged in a square, with other plants around them. In the center there was a big fountain with big square slates piled up in a jumbled order with points sticking out every which way. Water lightly poured down threw holes on all sides giving off a relaxing sound. This is where Duo sat thinking about what Heero had just said. 

::Oh gods. I should have been here. I know I would have noticed his condition, but what if I didn't. What if I hadn't had that dream and never came here. Heero might be dead, he might… what am I going to do. Something's wrong here. He shouldn't have gotten this depressed for nothing. Why does he feel like he doesn't deserve to live? Why?:: He closed he eyes feeling the cool nights wind run threw his hair messy chestnut bangs. He laid down looking at the night sky and after what seemed like a couple minutes felt himself slowly dozing off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero sat looking at the door that closed behind Duo and Quatre. He had not liked the reaction Quatre gave when seeing him. ::I'm just hurting them again, all I can do is hurt people::

Quatre came in shortly after and sat down next to Heero. His eyes were red like he had been crying but Heero ask any questions. He quietly moved one of the cushioned sitting chairs next to the bed and sat there talking to Heero's silent form. 

He could tell Quatre was hurting inside, from the way he talked. Everything he said was careful, as if not to trigger something to alarm Heero. 

::He's treating me like a bomb that ready to go of at any moment:: He sighed and listened to Quatre rattle on about things he couldn't really tell what for he hadn't really been paying attention. All he could think about was how Duo had left. ::He's disgusted with me, I know it, all of them are. I can see it in there eyes, what is it? Pity? Sorrow? The Perfect soldier isn't so perfect anymore and they don't know how to handle it::

He faintly remembered Quatre saying goodnight and shortly after Wufei came in, he just then realized how zoned out he had been. Heero groaned as he saw him just standing there by the door with his eyes scanning him and evaluating the damage like he would evaluate his damn gundam for repairs. ::Oh gods, just go away I cant take this… Wufei must hate me, thinks I'm weak. Well I AM WEAK. I should not have even lasted the war. I wasn't suppose to last the war, never thought I would. ::

He sighed and finally took up the chair that Quatre had occupied. He then went on apologizing for not helping and all the other things Quatre had just said before Heero had spaced out. He almost laughed aloud in wondering if Trowa would do the same thing. Then he remembered that he didn't laugh. Laughing wasn't necessary in his life during the war and his training. Sure he had a good maniac laughs before but never the joy filled ones he use to see from Duo. He wondered what it felt like.

Wufei seemed to have caught a strange expression on Heero's face for he fell silent. Heero could feel the eyes trying to pry into him and it made him flinch, this made the young Chinese mans eyes widen in surprise for a second before returning to normal. But he never turned to look away even though Heero said nothing the whole time.

::Why are they watching me? They are probably afraid that I am going to kill myself once alone. Hmmm… well I don't blame them. But it is really unnerving how he is just sitting there staring at me like I'm some awful disease.::

Heero glared at him which brought Wufei to realize just what he was doing. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to stare…"

Holding up a hand Heero motioned for him to stop. "Its alright, just don't look at me like that."

Wufei jumped to his feet and started rubbing his hands together nervously. "Oh my god! I didn't mean to… I'm sorry! I'm just not good at… well… I haven't really… this situation is… I don't know how to…"

Heero couldn't help it, he felt his stomach rumble followed by a strange choking sound. His face was feeling a little flushed. His shoulders started to shake and before he knew it he was laughing For a moment he didn't even realize it. But the sight of Wufei looking all nervous and stumbling on words was too much for Heero. He had never seen Wufei look so helpless, and he had never seen Wufei not know what to say. He found it funny, and the thought of him laughing made it even funnier. And for the first time in a couple months he felt something lift off his shoulders and he felt more relaxed.

He finally calmed down enough to see that Wufei was standing there stiff as stone staring at him like he just saw a miracle. And it might have been just called a miracle. Heero found himself loosing it again and he soon was curled into a ball laughing like he never had before. He faintly remembered Wufei running out the door, and that just made Heero laugh harder. 

It seemed only a minute passed when Wufei was back with Quatre and Trowa in tow. They all stared wide eyed at a Heero who was now falling off the bed from laughing. He just couldn't stop, and all they were doing was making it worse. Now there were three people with the same expression Wufei had had earlier and Heero thought he was going to die. His stomach was aching so bad now, and he was trying to get his mind back in gear.

He was taking deep breaths trying to calm himself when Wufei finally spoke up. "What's wrong with him?"

That didn't help. 

Heero found himself back on the floor all over again curled into a little ball making funny noises and trying desperately to choke back the laughs that were erupting from his soar throat. The funny thing was, that Heero didn't even know why he found this so funny. Maybe it was just the thought of what must be running threw the three shocked pilots minds as they saw him rolling on the floor.

::They must think I'm crazy.:: As much as he would have liked to been angry with that thought, he somehow found it amusing. ::Well I probably am crazy, god knows I'm not sane.::

After another minute of deep breaths and last minute laughs he finally calmed himself down enough to stand up. His stomach hurt and his throat was soar. He also noticed that his eyes seemed a little wet and they stung. He groaned clutching his stomach and looked at the three silent figures standing in the open door. "Why didn't anyone tell me how much it hurts to laugh?" 

Suddenly they were all three brought back from their daze. Quatre managed a small laugh, Wufei looked puzzled, and Trowa had a smirk on his face that was so small any normal person would have missed it. Heero felt a funny feeling in his chest that he couldn't explain. But he liked it and didn't want it to go away. He soon realized how tired he was again. ::I must really be weakening::

Pulling on his emotionless mask again he walked over to his bed and slowly laid down. "I'm gonna sleep for awhile if that's alright." Heero gave them a look that dared them to argue with what he said. No one did. He closed his eyes and tried to make out the soft whispers from the others but he was already on his way to darkness. Before falling asleep he noted that the others had quietly left and Wufei was back sitting in the chair. 

::He's probably staring at me again, but this time like I'm an awful disease that's gone insane:: 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wufei sat next to the bed staring at the sleeping figure. He could here the breathing slow and knew he was probably asleep now. He couldn't help himself, he stared at the frail figure of the once perfect soldier and strong boy. ::How did he get this awful. I never even realized, most likely because of the small changes each day.:: Before he could stop himself he put his hand on Heero's forehead. 

"Shit! He's burning up." He jumped to his feet and out the door towards the den where he hoped Trowa and Quatre were. Luckily they were there and they stared at him as he barged in the door. Quatre looked at him with amusement as if to say 'What? is it another laughing attack?' 

"I think we should call a doctor, he's burning up." 

"I'll get our family doctor down here as fast as I can." Quatre bolted to the phone to make the arrangements. "Go get some water and a wash cloth, put it on his head to try and cool him down."

Wufei let Trowa handle that, and he headed out the door in search of Duo. ::Now if I were a braided baka where would I be?:: He almost chuckled to himself but then remembered that the situation wasn't a laughing matter. He searched for a while before finding Duo outside in the garden fast asleep. He sighed and picked him up trying not to wake him. 

Duo stirred a little and Wufei held his breath, but Duo just mumbled something and fell back asleep. 

Not knowing where else to put him, Wufei brought him to his own room and laid him carefully under the covers. Just as he was stepping out the door Duo started to mumble something in his sleep. He quieted and listened for a moment but all he caught was a jumbled "laufin… woulnt hurt ift ya… did mo' re."

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Can anyone guess what's going to be in the next chapter? J Perhaps a dream maybe?


	7. CH6. Nightmares

*****

Duo found himself in a different place than he usually was when dreaming. This time he was in a dark room resembling a cell. He could here heavy breathing coming from somewhere to his right. 

Huddled in the corner, Heero sat with his knees tightly pressed against his chest and his hands wrapped tightly around them. He was looking at Duo as if trying to figure out if he was really standing there or not. Cobalt eyes looked warily at Duo's chest. 

Looking down to see what was the matter, Duo realized he was in his old priest outfit with his cross hanging there shining even in the darkness of the room.

"Heero… where…?" Duo whispered questioningly.

"Shh… There about to come." Heero motioned for Duo to look to the door on one of the far walls. Sure enough it started to creep slowly open. 

"W-what's coming?" He managed to breath out, never taking his eyes away from the door that was now almost all the way open. They both stared into the pitch black opening in the door. Out of the darkness stepped a tall light brown haired woman who appeared to look in her early twenties. Her dark green eyes sent shivers down Duo's spine, they looked so empty and distant. 

She was staring at Heero with a cold look that frightened Duo to the point that he wanted to throw himself at her to get her to look away. But he found he couldn't move. He struggled a little not understanding why his feet seemed to be rooted to the cement floor. 

"You took away my heart." Her voice was thin and soft like a loud whisper.

"I'm sorry." Heero replied. Duo was surprised that he looked so calm and didn't even seem to flinch at her cold words.

"Heero… what is she talking about?" Heero glanced only for a moment in his direction before looking down at the floor.

"My life, you took away my life." She stated coldly. 

"Y-you killed her." It wasn't really a question more of a shocking statement.

"Yes… and no." He never took his eyes off of her when speaking. "I killed her family. I killed her husband, her son, and after they were dead… her pain, her loss… she died. I killed her without even meaning to, without even knowing it. I crushed her soul until there was nothing left inside of her… she died. and I didn't even care." At that Heero's eyes grew wide and he threw his head back and screamed. 

Duo felt like his insides were all mixed into a blender and put on a platter in front of him. Heero screamed and thrashed his head back and forth crying in terror. The woman just stared there tormenting him with her icy stare. 

*******

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pain lanced through his arms and Duo wondered what had happened. He felt dizzy and heard someone shouting his name far away in the distance. All of a sudden things began to fade out and he found himself staring at a blurry image of Wufei. He was pinning down his arms preventing them from thrashing about.

"Maxwell!" Wufei helped him sit up, and he soon realized that his face was wet and his throat soar. "It's ok, you just had a nightmare." 

Duo could feel Wufei's hand rubbing his back softly as he took deep calming breaths. He had obviously been crying and screaming. "Sorry Fei, I'm alright now, I'm good." He stood up as if too give further proof that he didn't need any more help. "How's Heero?"

Wufei smirked as he thought of the incident awhile ago, but it was quickly replaced with a frown. "He's got a really high fever, the doctor just got here and I thought I'd wake you up to tell you… when I saw you were screaming." He looked questionably at Duo who had gone pale. "You don't look so good either. You might want to lay down for awhile longer."

That was the last thing Duo wanted to do, he felt himself shiver as he remembered the nightmare still fresh in his mind. "Nah, I'm ok. Just want to go check on Heero, k?"

He could see how Wufei was looking at him with uncertainty, "I said I'm fine, and besides I'm not the one you should be worrying about." Wufei flinched at that but quickly covered it up with a sigh and started to lead Duo, who was now fully awake, to Heero's room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing Heero noticed as he woke up from one of his horrible nightmare's was that he was soaking wet. He was having trouble breathing and he felt like he had just run a mile. For some reason he was getting these dreams more and more lately, he used to get them almost every night during the war but they seemed to fade away during the peace time and were replaced with dreams of Duo. But then he could almost remember seeing Duo in his dream as well. Though he seemed to have faded into the background once 'She' had come out.

She was one of his regulars, his ghosts that haunted him often. The expression that was on her face never changed. And she rarely spoke, just stood there and looked at him, it drove him almost crazy. 

The door opened to his room and he watched as a tall thin man in his thirties walked in. Heero just glared at him as he walked up and began checking him. He wanted to swipe the hand away that was poking and prodding him. But he realized he could barely even lift his head up so far as to turn it. 

::Weak… weak… weak…:: It became a sort of mantra as he said it over and over in his head. He didn't know why but it made him feel better. Maybe it made him feel like he was being punished, and of coarse he felt he deserved every ache and pain that his nerves were sending to his brain. 

He noticed that Quatre had come in awhile later and was now talking in low whispers to the doctor across the room. Heero almost laughed at their show of secrecy. Didn't they know he could read their lips? Did they forget that he had almost inhuman hearing? He smirked at that but chose not to eavesdrop. ::Might as well give them what they want, if they don't want me to hear how fucked up I am then so be it.::

Soon the doctor was back with more of his so called 'examination'. ::What did he hope to find? Anyone could tell just by looking at me what's wrong… then again maybe they cant. Sure took Quatre long enough to notice.:: He cringed at his thoughts. He wasn't really being fair… it was his fault he was like this in the first place, not theirs. He was the one messed up and he was the one who was hiding it from them as best he could. 

But instead of being completely repulsed by him and kicking him out, they were taking care of him and making an attempt to help. Heero knew it was useless, he was far too gone to be helped. But somehow it made him feel better to know that when he died he would die knowing that some people had actually… cared… for him. 

::Duo:: He smiled as he thought of him, Duo had come all the way from L2 to make sure Heero ate something. He would be the hardest to leave behind, and Heero expected a pretty nasty fight. But there wasn't anything to do, he knew he had to die, he deserved it. And he was sure that the only way to make the people he hurt and killed really rest in peace, was to give them what they wanted. 

They wanted his death, his destruction. Heero was fully prepared to give it to them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duo entered the room and saw Quatre arguing with a tall man with black hair and a thin frame. Apparently they had a disagreement on where Heero should be placed. The doctor wanted to take him to a treatment center, and Quatre was arguing that he wanted Heero to be as comfortable as possible. 

"We cant move him now anyway, since he has a high fever. But you should at least consider it as an option in the future if things get worse. I put the medication on the counter, he needs to take one of each after each meal. Do not have him take them on an empty stomach. His body probably wont be able to hold much food which is why I had to lower the dosage a little." The doctor looked over at Duo who walked up to stand beside Quatre. He raised his eyebrow in question.

"Its alright, Duo will most likely be with Heero most of the time so he should hear this."

The doctor still looked a little concerned but shook it off and continued, "He wont be able to hold much down for awhile if anything at all, so try to get him to eat a little every couple of hours. Oh and try to make it soft foods like soup and oatmeal. Things that are easy on the digestive system." 

Duo looked over to the bed at Heero who was staring at the ceiling in deep thought. He walked away from the doctor and made his way to sit beside the weak looking boy. Heero's cobalt eyes locked onto his which sent a shiver down his spine. ::Why does Heero do this to himself?:: 

Heero could see Duo's eyes ask his question for him. A guilty feeling made him look away to the side to avoid anymore contact. He could feel the hurt as Duo's shoulders slumped slightly and he let out a long sigh. 

"Duo?" he jumped to the sound of Quatre's voice looking at him with concern. Duo looked at him and smiled. 

"What's up Quat?"

"I'm gonna go get Heero some soup or something. Do you think you could clean him up a little and then give him an extra blanket?" At Duo's nod he started out the door. But turned and smiled at Heero before exiting.

"Well looks like your gonna have to get a sort of sponge bath, well more like a washcloth bath since I don't see any sponges," Heero blushed which made Duo chuckle. "You know Heero you are kinda cute when you blush." 

Heero felt his face burn even more and his eyes widen. "I-Its just the fever." He looked down trying to save himself even more embarrassment. 

Duo just chuckled louder, "Sure Heero, whatever you say."

Despite the uncomfortable feeling at first, he found himself relaxing under Duo's gentleness washing him clean. The warm water was making him feel a little better, and he found himself disappointed when it was over. 

Quatre came back shortly after that and left Duo to feed Heero, but not before fussing about making sure he was warm and complaining about the rooms cold temperature.

He tried to reach for the bowl to feed himself to no success as his hand was swatted away by Duo. He then began to feed him like he had in the dinning room. Surprisingly he got in a couple more bites than last time and he was rewarded with a smile from Duo.

"Stomach hurting you still? How's your temperature?" Placing a hand on Heero's head and feeling the warmth still there he frowned.

"I'm fine."

Duo gave off a sound similar to 'tut', and glared at Heero. "Don't you lie to me Yuy. Anyone of us can see you are anything but fine." Heero felt awful for some reason unknown to him. He felt like he wanted to jump up and hug Duo or do anything to get that hurt look of his face. 

More pain more hurting, when was it going to stop? He felt like he was living in a never ending cycle with no dead ends or stops.

"Heero…" Heero blinked at the serious tone in Duo's voice. "Do you want to talk about those nightmares you've been having?"

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Yay! Another chapter done! Hope you liked! 


	8. CH7. Actions of the Mind

"Heero…" Heero blinked at the serious tone in Duo's voice. "Do you want to talk about those nightmares you've been having?"

His eyes widened in surprise. How did Duo know about his nightmares? He never told anyone before, "How did you…"

Duo looked sheepishly at the floor. "I've been… dreaming about stuff and… everything been pretty true so far." He took a deep breath before continuing, "That's how I found out something was wrong with you, my dream… scared me enough that I felt I had to check on you. And well…"

Heero couldn't believe his ears, ::Could we really be dreaming the same thing?:: He didn't want to dwell on that thought for he found he might become even more confused. Duo was now looking at him as if waiting for him to speak. ::Well looks like I'm not going to get out of this one.::

Taking a deep breath he looked into the violet pools looking uncertainly at him. "They started about half way threw the war. They were never really too terrible at first. They started getting worse as the months went on. I see the faces of people I killed. Of children they once were. I don't even recognize any of them, back then I didn't care tp remember the faces of the people I killed." 

Duo could see that Heero wasn't really looking at him anymore, he seemed lost in a memory. "But after awhile I started to notice the faces of those who died because of me. I started to memorize them, the one's who's faces I could see. And then when I couldn't see their faces in the mobile suits… I felt… like I was… I wanted to give them peace. I started to pull up their files, I looked up their families. I became sort of obsessed, like I needed to see their faces, their families, or I couldn't sleep. The nightmares became worse but I just ignored them… even after feeling so… horrible after I woke up. Then they started happening every night." He could feel his hand starting to shake as he recalled all those horrible dreams. 

Duo just watched him with a gentle smile. He took one of Heero's hands and held it in his trying to comfort him. "Do you still have them?"

"I thought… that they had toned down after the war, and that they would soon go away. They were replaced with…" he looked back into Duo's eyes, "replaced with other dreams… but then they started coming back again, and I couldn't sleep. I see all of them in my dreams, tormenting me. I just couldn't bear the thought of having to go through all of that again. I don't know how I survived the war… I wasn't supposed to damnit." His last sentence was spoken bitterly and Duo felt himself cringe.

"Heero, is that why you are trying to… hurt yourself?" Duo was going to say kill but thought better of it. He didn't think he could have said it without his voice croaking. 

Heero just looked down at his hand still being held by Duo. The warmth his hand was giving off was relaxing and his eyes began to feel heavy.

After realizing Heero wasn't going to say anything more Duo sighed, "Well you should at least get some more rest buddy." Heero looked alarmed and scared for a second then his face went back to his normal blank expression. " Aa… Don't worry, I'll stay here with you. If I see that your having a dream I'll wake ya up." He gave Heero one of his famous grins.

Heero seemed to trust him on his word and fell soon to sleep. Duo watched him for awhile and made a move to bring the blankets up but found his hand was stuck in a tight grip and Heero wasn't going to let him go. "Tu'… looks like I'm stuck here." His face softened as he watched Heero's face relax with sleep, and at that moment Duo felt that there was no place he would rather be then there, watching Heero peacefully sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero awoke the next morning to someone lightly knocking on his door. He squinted his eyes as he adjusted to the brightness of the early morning. He looked down and couldn't help the small smile as he realized that Duo had fallen asleep with his head leaning on the side of the bed. His hand was still locked with Heero's. 

Trowa stuck his head in the door a minute later when Heero gave no response. He saw that he was awake and looking at him. Heero brought his finger to his lips to silence him and pointed to Duo who looked to be in a rather uncomfortable position but was sleeping peacefully. Trowa arched his eyebrow when he noticed Duo had his hand laced with Heero's

He smirked inside and looked over Heero who was now looking at Duo's face with an unreadable expression. He felt that Duo would probably be helping Heero the most, for he seemed to understand Heero better than any of the other pilots.

Glancing back up to Trowa and saw him walking towards the bed side table. He placed down a small bowl with something that looked like grits inside. Thankfully he was being quiet and left without disturbing the sleeping boy. 

Heero glared angrily at the food, if it had been alive it would have surly run tail and hid. His stomach pained in response to his thoughts of eating. If only he could get rid of it without Duo noticing, then maybe he'd forget and Heero wouldn't have to eat. 

He bit his lip in concentration trying to think how he would accomplish hiding the food without waking up Duo. Stretching out his free hand he slowly extended it towards the drawer below the bowl on the bed side table. Somehow he managed to get it opened, and glanced cautiously at Duo. He let out the breath he was holding as he saw that he hadn't even moved at all. 

Carefully he reached for the bowl. Furrowing his brow in concentration, the tricky part would be to set it inside of the small drawer without dropping it and making noise. This was going to make Heero's hand stretch uncomfortably in a unnatural angle. He had just gotten it half way lowered into the drawer when he felt a hand snatch his.

"What do you think you're doing, Heero?" Duo's icy glare caused Heero to almost drop the bowl in surprise. 

Duo launched across the bed and grabbed the bowl before it toppled over into the drawer. He let out a sigh and went back to shooting daggers at Heero, whose arms were crossed and desperately trying to not look at him. "Tisk, Tisk… Heero you know better than to get me upset." He said sternly setting the bowl on Heero's stomach and bringing the spoon to Heero's mouth. "Open up."

Heero just clamped his mouth down tighter and turned his head to the left. Duo chuckled loudly as he compared Heero to a baby. He felt his cheeks flushing but still refused to open his mouth. "hmph."

"Hmmm… lets see, how do you treat a baby who wont eat. Well I don't have any toys, so I could always threaten to tickle you." Heero's eyes went wide and he shook his head back and forth vigorously. "No? then are you going to open your mouth for the good food? You know you shouldn't waste your food, and after all the hard work the cooks went through to make this for you. Ungrateful I say! I could always drag Wufei in here to give you a lecture on the 'Injustices of not eating all your food'. " 

Duo laughed again and Heero just glared with his mouth shut tight. Suddenly Duo reached out and poked at Heero's side making him jump and his eyes widened in confusion. 

"What? Haven't you been tickled before?"

"No." Heero blurted out before slamming his hand back against his mouth before Duo could do anything. 

"You know Heero, I don't think I have ever seen you act so emotional." His eyes gleamed happily. 

After about ten minutes more of pushing, Duo finally managed to get Heero to open up for the food. He once again fed him. But he wasn't complaining. Duo rather enjoyed feeding Heero and watching his face make weird expressions at the tastes. 

Duo put the bowl away and smiled at the fact that more had been eaten today. He looked into Heero's eyes and saw a softness that wasn't there before.

A small smile played on Heero's lips as he looked at Duo. He had never had someone take care of him. Even though he didn't want to eat, he couldn't help but enjoy Duo's antics and jokes. Duo's hand came up to brush through the tangled mess of hair. Heero felt himself leaning into the touches and when Duo's hand started to retreat he grabbed it without thinking. 

Duo looked at him with wide eyes and Heero just stared at the hand, his mind was in a turmoil, and he didn't know what he wanted to do now that he had the hand. Instinctively he brought it up and placed it on his cheek. Eyes drifted shut, shutting out the wide eyed Duo staring at him in confusion. The heat of Duo's hand was making him feel a tingling sensation and he couldn't figure out why. ::Why does Duo's touches make me feel like this?:: 

Duo swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. He opened his mouth to speak but for once he couldn't bring any words out. Heero's behavior was confusing him and he felt himself longing to touch Heero more. His thumb gently caressed the smooth cheek and he could have sworn that Heero started to purr and lean into his touch.

Realization dawned and Heero jerked away from Duo's hand, ::Oh gods, what am I doing? I cant do this, I keep forgetting about my mission. I can not fail this, this is my last chance.:: He avoided looking at Duo any further. He didn't want to see the hurt that was most likely laying on the braided boys face. He didn't want to feel the pain inside his chest.

Duo was looking at Heero with a look of concern, "Is something wrong Heero?" His face saddened as he realized that Heero was not going to answer any time soon. Sighing he got up and headed towards the door. "Well I'm going to go get myself some breakfast, Quatre will be watchin ya while I'm gone, most likely."

"I don't need to be watched twenty-four hours a day." Heero replied grumpily.

"Yeah? Well I still don't trust ya. So until you can give me a reason to believe that the minute we let you out of our site you wont go and drug yourself, your stuck with us." He walked swiftly out the door before any more comments were made. 

Quatre arrived soon after and Heero smirked inside. "I want to take a shower." His voice was in a demanding tone. 

Quatre looked uncertain, "I don't think that is a good idea, your weak Heero and you still have a fever, you should rest.

"I'm not getting any better sitting here in my sweat." 

Quatre sighed but soon gave in. He had a hard time denying anyone anything. He had it in his nature to help people. And seeing how he had failed Heero already, he didn't want to lose anymore trust than he already had. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking back, Heero wouldn't be able to tell what possessed him to do it at the time. He felt like he did during the war. when his instincts would take over and do things for him. It scared him…

Heero was staring into the mirror of the bathroom looking at his reflection. His skin was still a sickly color and he looked too thin. Luckily the bags under his eyes were starting to go away, and he could see that in a short time they would be gone altogether. 

His reflection changed to a smaller version of himself. His eyes were the same cold cobalt that he had during the war. He estimated that he was looking at his ten year old self. The muscles were apparent and looked rather out of place of the small boy. Heero could remember his childhood, or rather his lack of childhood. Having his whole life centered around destruction, death, even from such an early age. He was a born killer, and the only way to stop himself…

Death

He needed to kill himself… _now_?

The small child in the mirror pointed to the shelf beside the mirror. Heero looked on it and saw a shaver that he used sometimes. He hadn't really had much facial hair yet, but he was always prepared. Since he was trained that way, and couldn't help thinking like that. 

::You want me to kill myself?:: The child in the mirror just nodded. He felt like he was in a dream, and couldn't stop himself. Everything felt so surreal and in slow motion.

Heero reached over grabbing the razor and snapped the plastic at the end, freeing the three blades. He held one up and looked at it, small but sharp. Surely there was some other way he could go about this, after all he was taught many ways to kill himself if caught by the enemy. But for some reason his mind buzzed at the idea of blood and pain. It made him think of the war, made him feel like he was killing again, his last kill. 

He smiled to himself and brought the blade to his right wrist. Pressing down he felt the sting as the blade cut the first layers of his skin. He felt giddy and the sensation was welcomed. He made a straight accurate cut across his wrist. Then did it to the other wrist. The blood was now dripping down the sides of his arms and onto the white tile floor. 

::More.:: He took his right wrist again and make another deep cut this time going up the wrist. He hissed at the pain and started to feel dizzy. Someone was pounding at the door now and Quatre's worried voice filled his ears as he made another cut on his left wrist identical to his right. His eyes were wide and he stared at the pool of blood on the floor. 

His hands started to shake and he could here screaming inside his head. ::Who's screaming?:: It took him awhile to figure out that he was the one screaming. 

The smell of blood was the last thing he thought of before his vision began to fade and he dropped out into darkness.

%%%%%%%%%%

woohoo… this story is coming along pretty fast… seven chapters in eight days, pretty good, ne?


	9. CH8. Consequences

**************

Heero found himself floating through blackness. His arms spread out to his side as if trying to feel something, anything. A chill ran down his spine when he found out he couldn't find anything, he was alone. Alone in the darkness, with nothing but his thoughts to occupy him. He wondered idly how he ended up here. The last thing he remembered was… wait… he could remember something about… Duo.

'Yes. The boy had come all the way from L2' a voice in his head responded. 

::Why?:: 

'To stop you from something.'

::What?:: 

'To stop you from death.' 

::I was going to kill myself:: 

'Yes.'

He dug deeper into his mind trying to figure out what happened. ::Duo had finally left me alone for a minute… Then I… forced Quatre to let me take a shower.::

'And then?'

::I don't know, I cant remember::

'Cant remember or don't want to remember?' The voice had a mocking tone and his words rang loud in Heero's head.

::I don't… I think I remember something about… blood.::

'Whose blood?'

::My blood. I made myself bleed. The razor… with the razor. I cut…:: He shuddered in realization, ::Am I dead?::

Laughter was his answer. The voice boomed loudly and Heero was beginning to feel irritation. 

'You were wrong you know.'

::Wrong about what?::

'Death.'

::Will you stop with the short answers and make some sense. I feel like a god damn parrot!::

The voice laughed again, 'You think your death is the answer. You were wrong.'

::So I am dead then? How was I wrong?::

'You do not see what your death will cause, you haven't looked ahead only behind.'

::Is something bad going to happen because of my death?::

'Yes and no.'

::What?::

'By dying, you will trigger someone's death. By living, you will trigger someone else's death.'

::What? So either way someone is going to die. Who… who is going to die?::

'Can you think of no other that would die because you did? This person will fall into a depression and end up following your footsteps.'

::Who would become depressed because of my death?:: The voice would not answer and Heero realized he probably had to figure this one out on his own. The only person who would be most devastated would be Duo. But he should be relieved to be able to go back home and not have to care for Heero, shouldn't he? ::Duo… it isn't Duo is it?::

'I can not tell you.'

Heero growled, ::Why the hell not? You've been telling me everything else, and just who the hell are you.::

'Tsk, Tsk. No need to get grumpy now, I only tell you what I can.'

::But why are you telling me this?::

'You have been given a choice.'

::Choice?::

'Yes Mr. Parrot, a choice… I'm sure you've figured out what it is by now.'

::To live or die, and dying might mean Duo's death… who is going to die if I live?:: Heero waited for a couple minutes before he got a response.

'I cant tell you.'

::Is there anyway to stop it?::

'Yes.'

::How?::

'I cant tell you.'

::Can you tell me anything?:: There was silence again, and Heero wondered if he was left alone. The darkness was getting to him and he felt better having someone to talk to.

After a while more of silence the calm voice finally replies, 'Three pins will show you the way.'

::What is that suppose to mean?:: 

'Have you made your decision?'

Heero paused, that's right, he was given the choice whether he wanted to live or die, either way someone was going to die. His felt like screaming. Death followed him everywhere. Would he ever be able to escape it? But what was he suppose to do now? He didn't want Duo to die, he would rather spend the rest of his life in a nightmare than hurt Duo again. But at the price of another's death. Someone he might not even know. 

Was he willing to sacrifice one life for another? Maybe he could somehow stop it, after all the voice in his head said there was a way to stop it. That means there is a chance that the person will not die at all. Hope. He hoped that he wouldn't fail. He had a new mission now. He would live for Duo, and live for that small chance of stopping another death.

::My choice is to live.:: At those words said, brightness filled the black abyss and he found himself drifting away back into his mind, far from the dark and into reality once more. 

**********

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He could here yelling now. His senses told him he was lying on something soft, a bed. A soft beeping noise was heard to his right, and could barely be heard above the cursing on his left. He was most likely in a hospital, but who was making all that noise?

He slowly opened one of his eyes a crack to get a peak around the room. The brightness took awhile to get used to and the room slowly came into focus. ::Yup definitely a hospital:: There was a couple machines to his left and he had an IV in his left arm. He could see his wrists were bandaged but he didn't feel any pain. ::Must have given me pain killers::. On his right he could see a lone figure sitting in a chair next to the bed he occupied. 

Duo. It was Duo, and he sounded pissed. He had his head down with his hands propping it up. His back was hunches and he was yelling out a bunch of curses. Heero couldn't make out most of them because of the slurring. But he definitely heard a few 'That idiot.' and 'I'm gonna fucking strangle him.'

Duo didn't seem to notice Heero's eyes slowly opening all the way and staring at him. 

Duo was alive, Duo would not die. Was that just a dream? Heero felt relief wash over him before it was replaced with worry over what was to come. He still didn't know what he was supposed to do, and if he could stop the death. It might have just been a bad dream, but something inside him disagreed with him, and he didn't want to take the chance of doubting it.

::How am I suppose to stop something like that, something I have no control over::

He shook himself out of his thoughts and forced his mind on the present. Right now he had to deal with Duo, and Duo was not in a good mood. ::Shit, if he realizes I'm awake…::

He heard Duo sigh, the braided boy had stopped his swearing and now seemed deep in thought. Heero wanted to close his eyes and feign sleep but he couldn't bring himself to stop staring at Duo's hunched form. ::Damn it, I probably put him through hell. I didn't even think he would become this upset, and to think what would have happened if I had died… would he really have… killed himself? Just because of me?:: He shivered at that thought then mentally slapped himself as he saw Duo's head shoot up. ::Shit, nice going Yuy::

Duo looked up when he felt movement on the bed. Heero's eyes were now open staring at him. "HEERO!" Duo jumped to his feet and had to control himself not to hug the said boy. His happiness was quickly replaced by anger as he glared at the pale looking boy on the bed. "YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

Heero sank his head deeper in his pillow trying to distance himself as much as possible from the furious Duo Maxwell, he was in for a long lecture. 


	10. CH9. So He Says

Duo looked up when he felt movement on the bed. Heero's eyes were now open staring at him. "HEERO!" Duo jumped to his feet and had to control himself not to hug the said boy. His happiness was quickly replaced by anger as he glared at the pale looking boy on the bed. "YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

Heero sank his head deeper in his pillow trying to distance himself as much as possible from the furious Duo Maxwell, he was in for a long lecture. 

"You promised me Heero, you said you wouldn't!! How could you?? What the HELL were you thinking when you decided to just slit your FUCKING wrists?" Heero just listened, frozen in place by Duo's stare. He could see Duo's body starting to shake with anger. "Did you even think what you would do to us by pulling that stunt?? Quatre nearly had a melt down, think how he feels! He was suppose to be watching you and then you go and do… do what you did!! He keeps blaming himself… do you know what he would have done if you died?" His voice was now barely above a whisper, "Don't you even care how 'I' feel?" 

Heero could still see the anger in Duo's eyes but now tears were running down his face. 

He felt awful, He felt like he had betrayed them. He had hurt them… again. "D-Duo…"

"Oh gods Heero. I… I don't know what I would have done…" The pain Duo must have gone through hit Heero hard. The violet eyes were now clearly showing the hurt within.

::I am such an idiot!!.:: He wanted to reach out and comfort the sobbing boy, but he didn't know how. Duo made the decision for him, and Heero now had a very emotional boy clinging to him like a life line. Heero slowly wrapped his arms around him and in return Duo buried his head on the thin hospital gown.

"I..I was so scared Heero. Di-Didn't know if you were gonna make it. The d-doctors said you had lost too much blood… and you might…" Heero started to rub Duo's back in order to comfort him and stop the shaking. "I'm so glad… don't you ever… please Heero… I don't know what I'd do."

"I… know Duo… Its alright, I'm here. I'm not going to leave you." His comforting words were meant to soothe and it startled Heero when Duo jumped up and glared at him again. 

"You better not leave me! I swear! I'll follow you and make your time in hell even worse!" He wiped the tears from his face and took a deep breath. After several minutes he seemed to settle down enough, "I'm gonna go tell the others that your awake, they'll be wanting to see you."

Heero's stomach twisted painfully. The others, they were going to be mad as hell, and Quatre… he didn't know if he could take seeing Quatre. After he had slit his wrists with Quatre standing right outside the door. It was not something anyone would be able to get over easily. "Duo please… I don't... really want to see them yet."

"That's not fair Yuy and you know it… At least let Quatre see you, he has been sick with guilt." For some reason Heero could never seem win any argument with Duo… maybe because of the way his violet eyes looked at him daring him to think otherwise. Or it could be the thought of what Duo would do to him if he refused. And he knew an angry Shinigami was not a good thing.

He sighed and turned sideways on the bed facing away from Duo. "Will you… come back after?"

"Che… you think I'm gonna leave you alone after what you did? Not a chance in hell! Your stuck with me… I don't care if I have to go into the shower with you! I'm not leaving you without someone watching you." His anger seemed to come back full blast again, "I don't trust you Heero." 

That hurt. He felt like he had just gotten shot. ::I deserve it, but if only he knew… I gave up death for him, hah! Now I sound like I want him to take pity on me. I may have stopped him from following me, but I didn't stop someone else who is going to die. I only hope I can stop it, I'll do anything to atone for what I've done.:: These thoughts went round and round in his head.

Duo left and Heero was left alone in the hospital room with his guilt for company. He couldn't predict what would happen when Quatre came in. The feeling inside of him right then was indescribable, it could almost be called fear. Fear of the unknown? This was new for him, and he never before had the problem of 'not' knowing. He was suppose to be in control, that is how he always lived his life… with precision and accuracy. These last few days had sent him on a spiral, into the unknown territory of emotions, and he couldn't wait to find the end of it.

How much longer was he going to last like this? 

The door opened revealing a very pale blond who was none other than Quatre, he had dark circles under his eyes which made Heero flinch when he realized he was probably the cause of it.

He walked up to the side of the bed never fully looking into Heero's eyes. His hands were clenched together tightly in front of him, and he was chewing on his bottom lip. Quatre screamed nervous.

Heero sighed in relief. Quatre wasn't mad at him, of course he wasn't! He could never stay mad at anyone for long, even during the war. When fighting against Oz, Quatre was always forgiving and understanding. He never killed out of hate or furry, and Heero rarely ever saw him angry. 

Heero's thoughts were cut short, "Heero, I wanted to apologize. I am sorry, I know you might not be able to forgive me…" Quatre's head was now bent forward, and his shoulders lightly shaking.

"What are you talking about?" Heero was confused, what was there to be sorry for? Everything that he did was his own fault not Quatre's.

"I failed you… I-I should have known better… I almost killed you! I should have been watching you better!" Big blue eyes were now filling with tears as they looked at Heero for the first time since he came in. 

This was not what Heero had expected, and he found himself chuckling at the situation. Here he had been worried that Quatre was going to hate his guts when in reality it was just the opposite. Quatre's eyes widened and he stood frozen just blinking at Heero who was now smiling softly at him.

"Quatre… what I did was entirely my fault… I tricked you! You shouldn't blame yourself for something you had no control over."

"Oh but I did! I… I could have…"

"No… you couldn't! I would have found another way and you know it! I was an idiot… I admit that at least, and I am sorry my mistake hurt all of you… please will you forgive me?" Heero said looking at the Arabian questioningly.

Quatre looked shocked. He could see that Heero was telling the truth, "You mean… you… your not going to hurt yourself anymore?" He could still feel a little of the self hatred stirring inside of Heero, but for some reason it had toned down a little, and was replaced with something like understanding.

*I would rather spend the rest of his life in a nightmare than hurt Duo again* That thought played repeatedly inside Heero's mind.

"I have hurt too many in my life, I now know that killing myself will only… hurt my… friends." He looked uncertainly at Quatre hoping he wasn't wrong in his assumption that he was still considered in the 'friend' category. 

"But you still want to die." It would take a lot of time for Heero to heal inside, and Quatre knew better than to think he would be over it this quickly.

"Yes." 

Quatre winced slightly, "I understand. But… Heero we want to help you, help you get better. And I know that you sitting here in the hospital isn't going to do much good. They will probably want to keep you here unless proven that you are not a danger to yourself any longer."

"A psychological evaluation."

"There is a way I could get you out of it, but… I need to make sure… I need your word Heero. I do not want to be responsible for… I would feel awful."

Heero looked into Quatre's eyes with all seriousness. "I give you my word, I have made a mistake. I will not do it again for I realize what would have happened if I had… died. Nothing good will come of it, I don't want to hurt you guys… I don't want to hurt Duo anymore."

His eyes widened at Heero's last statement, but he didn't comment on it. Quatre could feel a ting of fear inside of Heero that wasn't there before. Taking a deep breath he wiped the remnants of his tears away and turned towards the door. 

"Alright I believe you. I'll see if I can get you out of here."

The door was halfway open when Heero called him back, "Quatre, you don't look so good… You might want to go lay down somewhere."

"Hah… I've been up for four days, I don't think a couple hours more will matter."

"Four days?? How long have I been in here?" It hadn't seemed like time had gone by at all. Would he have been asked, he would have guessed that only an hour had gone by since his accident.

"You've been in here for about a week, we were not allowed to see you until a couple days ago though… Duo was really torn up, well, all of us were…"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be worrying about us now, you should be putting your energy into getting better. Luckily the fever went away on the third night… But we weren't sure how long before you woke up. The doctors were afraid you might have hit your head also because you were asleep for so long. I think it was just from exhaustion though." He looked at Heero softly. "I'm glad your back. Ah, that's right I should have told the doctors you were awake!" With that said he ran out of the room leaving Heero to his thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quatre walked back into the hospital waiting room. He had spent most of his week here and was really beginning to hate it. The hospital played soft classical music which was suppose to calm the mind, but it just ended up making everyone feel sick after the first day or two. 

Duo was laying on two of the chairs pushed close together, fast asleep. Quatre smiled softly. Duo hadn't been able to sleep much either. Heero, now being awake, was probably a great relief for him. Trowa and Wufei stood up from where they had been sitting and walked over to him as he entered.

"Is everything alright?" Trowa could see that Quatre's eyes were red from crying.

"Aa…" He smiled at them, "Everything's just fine… I was actually heading over to see if I could get Heero's release forms."

"Do you think that is a good idea?" This idea was a little more than shocking for Wufei. "I mean… he just… well how can we be sure he is not going to… try 'that' again?"

"I had a little talk with him… I don't feel he is going to try anything else." Suddenly the ground seemed very interesting for Quatre. "He… I think he thought that we wouldn't have cared whether he lived or died."

"Well I cant blame him. After we practically ignored him" Trowa sighed.

"Yeah… Do you two think you could get Duo home? He exhausted, and I still have some paper work to take care of, so I'll get Heero out of here and meet you back at home."

"Are you sure you will be alright here by yourself?" Trowa said looking at Wufei for help.

"Gah! I'll be fine… right now Duo needs rest! And it might take two of you to make sure he stays in bed. I know he had it in his mind to stay with Heero twenty-four hours a day, but it just isn't healthy. Especially since he hasn't slept at all this week. I can handle Heero." With that Quatre walked out of the lobby in search of Heero's doctor.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Hmm another chapter done… But I am not really happy with the length of them… I wanna make them a little longer, or a lot longer. Tell me what you think… SHORT CHAPTERS or LONG CHAPTERS????? 

And Geez! Most of my chapters are cliffhangers! ::Eeeek. Cant help it.:: ~gomen~

Please Review! ~ah and thanks to everyone who reviewed so far!~


	11. CH10. Orange Sleep

Duo woke up to a pain in his head. "Damnit Wufei! Watch what your doing, that's the second time you hit the door with his head."

"For your information Barton it isn't all the easy to carry this heavy log." Wufei growled while using his foot to slam the car door shut.

It took a while for Duo to realize where he was. Apparently he had fallen asleep, because he was now standing outside Quatre's mansion, well not exactly standing, more like Wufei was carrying him like a rag doll. "Gee thanks Wufei, I didn't think I was 'that' heavy." Duo's retort made Wufei jump.

"Thank god your awake, I thought my arms were going to fall off." That said he dropped Duo making him fall to the floor in a loud thump.

"Ow! You could have warned me that you were going to drop me!"

"What are you talking about Maxwell? I clearly gave you plenty of warning!"

Duo just glared as he picked himself off of the ground. ::Why am I here?:: He thought back, ::Last thing I remember was being in the hospital and…

"Heero! Where's Heero?!" Duo yelled.

"He is still in the hospital Duo, Quatre is trying to get him released right now." Walking up to Duo, Trowa put a hand on his shoulder. "Now YOU need to go inside and get some rest."

"Hell no! I told Heero I wasn't going anywhere… I have to go back!" in a blind panic he launched himself for the car but Wufei jumped at him and pinned his arms to the ground. "Ger off me Wu…"

"Maxwell calm down!" Wufei yelled pulling the braided boy up but keeping sure he had a firm grip on both of his arms. "Winner is fully capable of taking care of Heero, now 'we' are to make sure you are taken care of." At that both Wufei and Trowa dragged a struggling Duo into one of the many rooms at the estate.

Once they finally got Duo deposited on the bed Trowa pulled out a needle. Duo squirmed harder under the weight holding him down and his eyes widened in terror. "Now… you are going to be good and sleep or we will have to use other means to get you to settle down."

"You wouldn't!" Needles were not Duo's favorite thing, well they weren't even close. He hated them with a passion. 

"Try me." Trowa held the needle in front of Duo's face.

Duo stopped trying to get away and nodded his head quickly, never taking his eyes off the pointed needle with most likely a shot of sleeping medication in it. 

"Well that was easy." Wufei smirked. He found it funny how someone could be afraid of a tiny little thing like a needle. Now a sword would be something to be afraid of.

"How the hell am I suppose to sleep with you guys standing over me?" Duo grumbled putting his hands over his face and sighing.

"Well you better find a way, or…"

"Alright I get it! Geez, at least stop hovering over me!" 

~~~~~~~~~

Heero looked up when a short stubby man with a white doctors coat walked into the room. He was holding a clipboard and had a big smile on his face. Under the white gown Heero could clearly see baby blue scrubs, which matched the mans eyes. He looked up at Heero, "Glad to see you have finally woken up! I am Doctor Wood. I just need to check a few things before you can be released." 

As the man worked he jotted down a few things on his clip board and attempted to make small talk. What the doctor didn't realize, but soon found out, was that Heero Yuy wasn't good at small talk. Or any amount of lengthy talking at all. 

After only getting one word answers to everything he asked, the good doctor finally gave up trying to get anything out of Heero. Its not like he wasn't used to patients like Heero, most suicide patients were quiet. But he usually could at least crack a smile out of them before he left. Heero, however, was not to be budged. 

Doctor Wood sighed, "Well Mr. Yuy, you have a very good friend, I hope you know. You are being released this afternoon. I hope I don't have see you here in the future! That would mean that you are staying out of trouble!" With that he smiled, or rather widened the smile that was already on his face, and left.

Heero just sat on the bed glaring at the door. He didn't understand why people always made it their business to pry pointless information out of him. Even though he had to admit Dr. Wood seemed like a good doctor, he couldn't help wondering how he remained 'sane' trying to cheer up suicidal patients all day.

::Well no matter, I'm gonna be gone from this place soon enough.:: He closed his eyes and sunk deeper into the pillows. Duo hadn't come back yet and Heero couldn't help feeling disappointed. ::He's probably busy with other things:: Heero couldn't help thinking that Duo would be best someplace else, seeing how nothing but depression would conclude in staying by Heero's side. 

His thoughts soon faded as he drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*****

Duo opened his eyes to bright orange light, he squinted and sat up. The hot sun gleamed against his tan skin. He stretched his muscles and sat in an upright position, and looked around him. There was the same clearing of grass all around him, but now the grass wasn't as green, it seemed to take on a yellowish cover, as if dying away. To his left lay Heero, rolled into a ball and sleeping soundly. A smile played on Duo's face as he watched Heero slowly rouse into wakefulness. 

Slowly, Heero uncurled himself and layed on his back stretching out like a cat. His view of the bright sky was covered when suddenly Duo leaned over and stuck his head directly over Heero. "Hiya Heero! Nice to see you awake."

Glaring at the braided boy Heero said the only thing he could have in a situation like that, "Hn."

"Woooo… Is it just me or is this place getting hotter and hotter, I mean, cant a guy dream in a nice environment now-a-days? Come to think of it, why am I feeling heat in a dream? That's just a little disturbing." 

Heero sighed, he would never be able to understand how someone could babble on about something so pointless as to how hot it is. 

"So, how be hospital life treatin ya?" Duo's smile faded, "I kinda got dragged away by Tro and Wu… and can YOU believe that they are holding ME hostage? I fell asleep, I guess, in the waiting room and next thing I know they are holding me down threatening to give me a shot." He looked away from Heero, "Ummm… so anyway that's why I haven't been back at see ya an all."

"Aa, don't worry about it." 

"Don't worry about it?? I gave you my word! I told you I would be back, I…" 

Heero just sighed and looked up at the sky, the hot wind was blowing away the hair from his eyes, giving a clear view them. "Aa… I guess we would be called 'even' then."

Duo chuckled softly, "Ha… guess we are just a couple screw ups ne?" He laid back down on the rough grass and proceeded to look at the sky with Heero.

"Hai. I guess we are." Out of the corner of his eye he could see Duo's smile and his heart leapt. As if moving on its own, his hand came up and touched Duo's cheek lightly. 

Duo turned his head, wide eyed, to look into the cobalt blue he thought he might get lost in. Heero's eyes showed uncertainty yet a longing which Duo had never seen before. All too soon the hand was gone and Heero was standing up back turned away. 

"H-Heero?"

"Someone's trying to wake me." And then he was gone. Leaving Duo in the hot field with his thoughts spinning around Heero's action. His heart had sped up and he couldn't bring himself to turn away from the spot the other boy had occupied moments before. 

******

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero could feel someone shaking him lightly as he drifted back into consciousness. He opened his eyes adjusting to the rooms light, and looked up to see a smiling Quatre hovering over him. "Ah… I'm sorry I had to wake you, but we need get going. They will probably be needing this room shortly, and you are now officially released." He walked over to grab the blue duffel bag that was sitting on one of the chairs. "I brought you some clothes, so get changed and I'll meet you in the hall." 

Somehow Heero was able to get the tricky jeans and t-shirt on himself without falling over. Heero found that sleeping for a week really took a lot out of him. It took about ten minutes for the room to stop spinning after he stood. He could remembered a similar time when he was unconscious for a month, he had had a terrible time trying to get his legs to move properly after. 

Just like he said, Quatre was waiting outside the door. But Heero was a little surprised as he saw that Quatre was leaning heavily on the wall for support and his eyes were half lidded as if he was about to fall asleep. When he spotted him walk out of the door, he quickly put back on his smile and Heero was surprised how quickly he transformed his mood. 

Obviously Quatre was trying to hide his drowsiness and Heero became worried that he wouldn't be able to make it the hour drive home.

They walked out of the hospital and Quatre led Heero to a small blue two door car. An uneasy feeling crept inside of Heero and he looked up at the blond, "Your driving us home?"

"Is there something wrong with that?" Quatre's brow was now furrowed as he tried to figure out why Heero was hesitating.

"No." With that, they both got into the car and started their long drive back to the estate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"GAH! What is taking them so long! Trowa, how come they aren't back yet?" Duo threw his one free hand up in the air in attempt to sound more dramatic.

"Duo, stop worrying. Aa… Rummy!" He grabbed the card Duo was just placing down into the discard pile.

"Hey! No fair I hadn't taken my hand off yet!" Duo went to grab the card but was stopped by a sword pointed at his neck.

"I'd suggest you start paying attention Maxwell if you want to keep your braid." Duo gulped and looked innocently at Wufei.

"Aw come on Wu, how can you say I'm not paying attention when you are still a hundred points in the hole?" 

The three ex pilots had become bored waiting for Heero and Quatre to come home. After an hour of begging and pleading Duo had finally got them to sit down and play Rummy with him. He had really wanted to play poker but for some reason Wufei couldn't even say the name without shuddering. Duo accused him of having a bad strip poker experience, which resulted in Wufei's face turning beat red before he drew out his sword and threatened to kill Duo. 

"He has a point Wufei, this really isn't your game." Trowa on the other hand was already two-hundred points in the lead and had somehow acquired all of the Aces every game. 

"I wouldn't talk Barton, I know you are cheating! I may not know how, but it is inhumanly possible to be that lucky, so therefore YOU are cheating." Wufei glared across the bed, where they were all seated, and picked up a card from the deck. "I'm watching you…" He discarded then picked up his sword lying next to him. Trowa just smirked and picked up a card from the deck. He then put down three kings and discarded his last card. "I'm out." 

Duo rolled on the bed laughing as Wufei drew his sword at Trowa's head and ranted on about the 'Injustice's' of cheating. He was laughing so hard that he almost missed the phone ringing. Jumping up, he raced out of the room to answer it before Trowa or Wufei could yell at him for getting out of bed. 

"Yeah… Er… Winner Estate!" He managed to say into the phone while trying to calm his breathing down. 

Wufei and Trowa came up behind Duo just as the phone slipped from his hand. His eyes were wide in shock and he stood frozen staring at the phone that was now on the floor.

"What is it?" Trowa asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero was getting worried. Quatre seemed like he was barely able to stay awake, he now had the window open and the cool night air was blowing in as they sped down the highway towards the mansion. There was still a good thirty minutes until they would reach the mansion. 

For the fifth time Heero caught sight of Quatre's head drooping. "Quatre? Do you want me to drive?" Heero had been hoping that Quatre would let him take over but every time he asked, Quatre always gave the same answer.

"No way! I said I would get you home safely and I will. I don't want to pulling out any of your stitches trying to drive!" 

Heero sighed, this was going to be a long drive. The scenery wasn't all that entertaining to look at but he found it something to do. Along the drive, Heero had seen nine dogs, eight squirrels, and one cat. He had ended up keeping track of the number of animals along the way unconsciously. Right now he was staring at a young woman who was jogging with her German Shepard along a bridge their car was just approaching. 

The view from the bridge was breathtaking, there was a river which ran underneath the tall structure. Heero could make out the tiny boats that dotted the pink sand shores. He had started to count the little boats out of boredom when a loud honking brought his head up to look back at the road. 

Fear shot through Heero as he stared at the car coming straight for them. He took a glance at Quatre and saw the boy had fallen asleep on the wheel. "QUATRE!" Even if Quatre woke up it wouldn't do much good, they were too far into the opposite lane. Heero did the only thing he could, he grabbed the wheel and turned it sharply to the left causing the car to now be facing the left side of the bridge's railing, facing the river. Everything seemed to slow down, Heero saw the rail, he saw the car crash through it. A moment of weightlessness occurred as he stared straight into the water below. 

The car went crashing into the icy water, the vertical position caused the car to flop upside down, it floated up for a minute before starting to slowly fill with water and sink to the bottom.

%%%%%%%%%%%

Hmm well I couldn't decide what to do with the chapter length… so I might just make them a little longer. Might change my mind later though.


	12. CH11. Blue Sleep

^

Fear shot through Heero as he stared at the car coming straight for them. He took a glance at Quatre and saw the boy had fallen asleep on the wheel. "QUATRE!" Even if Quatre woke up it wouldn't do much good, they were too far into the opposite lane. Heero did the only thing he could, he grabbed the wheel and turned it sharply to the left causing the car to now be facing the left side of the bridge's railing, facing the river. Everything seemed to slow down, Heero saw the rail, he saw the car crash through it. A moment of weightlessness occurred as he stared straight into the water below. 

The car went crashing into the icy water, the vertical position caused the car to flop upside down, it floated up for a minute before starting to slowly fill with water and sink to the bottom.

^

Heero awoke to a cold chill running down his leg. He shot his eyes open and stared at the floor, or was it the ceiling? He noticed that he was upside down barely hanging on from the seatbelt. ::What happened? Where am I?:: Looking around he noticed the water slowly seeping into the car. ::Car? …Oh shit!::

"QUATRE!" the blond boy was hanging limp from his seat, blood was running down his face and he didn't move at all when Heero yelled out. Heero carefully unbuckled his seatbelt and fell hard onto the ceiling of the car which was slowly filling with water. His weight caused the car to rock back a little. Not wanting to cause the car to sink faster, he carefully made his way over to Quatre and freed him from his seat. 

The car was now filled halfway with water and it was sinking even faster. In a panicked daze Heero crawled to one of the back doors and pushed. It took him three tries to successfully get it open. Water rushed into the car pushing Heero to the far side and he clung to the limp body of Quatre fiercely. The car was now completely filled with water, Heero held his breath as he swam out with one arm, the other dragging Quatre with him. 

It seemed to take hours, but after swimming desperately for safety Heero finally broke through to the surface. He never thought he would love air as much as he did then. Taking a couple breaths to calm himself Heero proceeded to drag Quatre to safety. He only prayed it wasn't too late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once again Duo, Trowa, and Wufei were sitting in the lobby of the hospital waiting for news of their friends. After getting the call at the estate, Trowa had panicked and rushed them to the hospital emergency room in record time. He had a look on his face that Duo had never seen before, it looked like fear. Duo knew that Quatre and Trowa were close, but this made him ponder whether they were more than just 'friends'.

Trowa jumped up as one of the doctors made her way over to them. "How are they? What happened?"

"Calm down, they are not in any serious danger. At the most they may be staying over night." She glanced at her clipboard, "Mr.Yuy has lost a lot of blood because his stitches were ripped open. That is as far as his injuries go except some scrapes and bruises. Mr. Winner, however, might have a minor concussion and got quite a bit of water in his lungs. We had to give him stitches on his forehead, where he banged it pretty hard." She smiled when Trowa seemed to relax, letting go of the tight grip he had on the poor woman's shoulders. "But like I said, nothing life threatening. From what I know, their car somehow ran off a bridge."

"WHAT??" Everyone in the room looked up to see a shocked violet eyed boy standing on his chair. "How the hell did they manage to run off of a bridge?" He yelled.

"Sir, please calm down. You will have to ask them if you want further information." The poor woman was startled at Duo's outburst.

"Can we see them now?" Wufei asked as he pulled Duo off of the chair by his braid, which further enraged Duo and he started silently cursing.

"I'm afraid Mr. Winner is asleep right now, but I'll show you to Mr. Yuy's room." They followed her through the long white hallways and stopped in front of a room. From the door way they could see Heero sitting on the edge of the single bed. He was holding his hands up in the air looking at his wrists which were re-bandaged from the stitches being pulled out. The expression on his face showed that he was in deep thought and when they walked through the door it took him a while to notice their presence. 

Duo ran to Heero's side immediately, "Heero! What happened? Are you alright? The doctor said that your car ran off of a cliff!" 

"Aa… something like that…" He replied standing up and walking to the door. "Can someone take me home, I really don't want to stay here any longer." The three uninjured boys just stood there staring at him for a minute. Heero sighed, "Alright, I'll explain before we go, but first I want to go see how Quatre is doing." With that said he walked passed them and out into the hall making his way into the room directly across from his.

Quatre lay sleeping on the bed, he looked pale and sickly. Heero picked up his chart and scanned through it quickly before replacing it and sighing in relief. He looked over and saw that Trowa was now leaning over the bed brushing the hair out of the blonds face. 

Trowa looked at Quatre's sleeping face and felt sadness. He wasn't there for him when he needed him most. All he could think of was how relieved he was that Quatre was ok. The feelings inside of him had been there for a while now, it had started out as a fascination towards the small blond. The emotional strength that he possessed always amazed Trowa. Then the feelings inside of him grew and soon he realized that his feelings went beyond friendship. He didn't think he would ever tell Quatre his feelings for fear of what rejection would do to their friendship.

Trowa stared into space as he contemplated the situation. If something ever happened to Quatre, he would go crazy. The blond was too important to him. Yet he didn't think he could possibly stand by without hugging him, or showing his affection now. Maybe it was time he listened to his feelings, and take a chance. He might not get another opportunity. Trowa was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't here Heero beginning to talk at first. 

"…the Waylands bridge about a half hour away. I guess Quatre was exhausted. He fell asleep and we ended up crashing through the railing. I cant really remember much after that, except that he banged his head pretty bad and had a lot of blood coming down his face."

"How's you get out?" Duo asked as he took a hold of one of Heero's wrists examining it. He could see that they were slightly red from excess blood seeping through.

Heero closed his eyes as he tried to think. For some reason it all seemed to be foggy in his memory. He could remember the cold chill of the water hitting his skin, and the way he felt when the car crashed into the water. "I cant really remember, I think I went into a state of shock or something. I… remember some stuff, like getting Quatre out of his seat… and the water coming in, but I cant remember how we got back to the surface." Heero opened his eyes to see Duo looking sadly at him. 

"Come on, I'll take you home." He said while leading Heero out the door past Wufei who had a blank expression on his face. 

Wufei stayed in the room for a bit longer before deciding it would be best if he leave. He could sense that Trowa wanted to be alone for awhile. "I'm going to go get something to eat, I'll be in the lobby if you need anything." Trowa didn't reply but looked gratefully at the Chinese mans back as he left.

"Quatre. Please wake up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero found himself sitting in the passenger seat of the second car he had been in that day. Duo was being surprisingly quiet as they made there was to the estate. Heero was left to his thoughts about what had just happened hours before. 

Quatre was hurt, he could have died. The situation brought back memories from his dream right after he slit his wrists. The strange voice had said someone else was going to die because of him, but Quatre didn't die, Heero had managed to save him. ::Could that be the threat that I was worrying about? After all, Quatre did almost die...:: His thoughts were cut short as they approached the bridge.

He cringed as he saw the railing which had yellow caution tape around it. Down by the bank there was a big truck and two men talking and pointing into the middle of the river. ::Probably making plans for hauling the car out in the morning.:: Heero thought.

"Are you ok Heero? You look a little pale." Duo could see Heero staring into the river below, the river which he had almost died in. The thought made him shudder.

Heero didn't reply so Duo decided to start up a conversation. Though, he couldn't really think of anything to say in a situation like that. 

"You know… I… I'm really glad your ok." He mentally slapped himself, ::Way to go Duo, could you say anything more lame!::

Heero looked at the braided boy for a while then smirked, obviously the silence was getting to him. "Aa."

They arrived at the estate and to Heero's annoyance Duo took it upon himself to wait on Heero hand and foot. "I don't want you pulling out your stitches again!" He had said while opening the car door for Heero. 

They ended up in Heero's room. It looked the same as far as Heero could tell, but the window was closed now and the coldness was gone completely. He walked over and laid down on the bed. "Hmm I'm glad to be home, finally."

Duo laughed as he watched Heero sprawl out like a cat. "Well I'm glad your back, you gave me two scares in one week! I don't think I'm gonna let you leave this room cause you might end up in the hospital again!" 

Heero just glared at him, "Hm. Well at least I wasn't trying to hurt myself the second time."

"I know, I kn…" Duo's sentence was cut off by a yawn. "Man I'm tired."

"Why don't you go and sleep then, baka." 

Crossing his arms Duo glared at Heero. "No Way! Every time I leave you alone something happens to you. I am staying right here."

Heero sighed and then looked up into the violet eyes and pointed to the other side of the queen size bed. "Well 'I' am going to sleep, and there is room on the other side so just sleep there."

The thought of sleeping on the same bed with Heero made Duo blush. "Um… are you sure about this? I mean… I probably move around a lot in my sleep and…" He looked sheepishly at the ground.

"Baka" Heero said while grabbing Duo's arm and leading him over to the other side of the bed. He pushed the braided boy down onto the mattress, "Sleep."

"Alright Mr. *yawn* grumpy." Duo whispered while closing his eyes, he fell asleep within minutes.

Heero lay on his side of the bed watching Duo peacefully slumber before sleep soon claimed him also.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quatre woke up to something brushing against his cheek. He slowly opened his eyes and found emerald green eyes staring back at him. Trowa's hand was lightly pressed against his cheek. 

"Quatre! Your awake, how are you feeling?" The emerald eyes showed sadness and Quatre could feel that Trowa was concerned and… scared?

He smiled, "I'm alright… where am I?" Looking around Quatre could recognize that he was in a hospital room. ::What the?:: 

"You were in an accident. Your car… it ran over a bridge." Trowa said while silently pleading that Quatre's reaction wouldn't be too bad.

"What? I… cant remember… Heero!! Where is he? Is he alright?" 

"Calm down, he's fine. Duo took him home about an hour ago."

Relief washed over Quatre and he closed his eyes, "Thank Allah." He could still feel the exhaustion running through himself, and he concluded that he must not have been asleep too long.

Confused blue eyes opened and looked straight at Trowa. Quatre had just realized that Trowa had had his hand on his cheek. "Are you… alright Trowa." He could see the green eyes widen at his question. A weird feeling coming from Trowa puzzled him. It was the same feeling he felt when Duo and Heero were together, ::Fondness, or…::

"I'm fine Quatre You should be more worried about yourself." Quatre was not convinced but he didn't want to push. 

Trowa felt his heart rate speed up. He wanted to tell Quatre everything, how he felt. The urge to touch the small blond was so strong, and he had a hard time taking his hand away from the smooth pale skin. 

"Ugh… I have a major head ache." Quatre reached up to rub his forehead and was surprised to feel stitches and inch above his left eye. "Huh?"

"You apparently hit your head pretty hard when you crashed into the water."

"Water? We… oh my god! How come I cant remember?" Wide blue eyes looked up at Trowa and he could see that there was pain in them. He reached out and took a hold of Quatre's hand trying to comfort him.

"You… fell asleep." Trowa winced as he felt Quatre squeeze his hand hard. His blue eyes were wide and he was staring straight ahead looking at nothing in particular. Trowa could see him starting to shake, "It's alright Quatre, its over, no one got hurt."

"But… I could have…"

"You didn't! Your still alive and so is Heero, that's what counts." Trowa grabbed Quatre's shoulders an pulled him into and embrace. 

"T-Trowa?" the sudden embrace caused Quatre to stiffen, ::Trowa's hugging me!…:: Then realization hit him. The strange feeling he felt from Trowa was now clear. He smiled and returned the embrace. As his arms wrapped around Trowa's shoulders he felt a calm come over him. ::This is nice:: Closing his eyes he rested his head on Trowa's shoulder and fell quickly to sleep.

%%%%%%%%%

__

Yay! Another chapter done, hurray me! Hope you enjoyed! Now I think I am going to go to sleep also… and dream up the next chapter. z.z

Ah and sorry CJ, I don't think I want Relena in this story. ::shivers:: too annoying.

Oh! About the homonyms… I will try and get better! heh **'^.^**


	13. CH12. His thoughts

Quatre was released from the hospital and came back to the estate the next day. Duo noticed a slight change in the way Trowa and him acted around each other, but didn't dwell on it. He was too busy trying to figure out his own feelings for a certain cobalt eyed boy. Somehow over the period of his stay on Earth Duo had actually felt at peace with himself. He was no longer sulking inside and thinking his life was nothing but of a failures. 

Being with his friends made him forget his problems. Being with Heero made Duo feel like he was actually needed. Life had a purpose once again, and he would do everything he could to make sure Heero was happy. 

The once silent boy had changed a lot over the year in which Duo had last seen him. He was no longer as quiet as he was when a soldier. Once or twice Duo actually heard Heero making a joke, although they weren't very good. As his time with Heero increased Duo found his feelings for the boy also increasing, and the newest of his problems was whether or not he should act on them.

The fourth day out of the hospital found all of the five sitting outside for a picnic. The sun was shining through thin clouds in the sky, and the cool wind was welcomed. They were seated at the far end of a big garden in the back of the estate. The sent of Jasmine could be smelt mixed in with other various flowers and bushes that surrounded them. 

They had been out there for thirty minutes now, talking about their lives and the end of the war. Duo could clearly see that Trowa and Quatre were stealing glances at each other every few minutes. He found it kind of funny how secretive they were being. He was probably the least observant of the five, so he was pretty sure Wufei had also picked up on it. Heero, however, seemed to be lost in his own little world. He stopped talking awhile ago and was starring off into nothingness. 

Heero couldn't get the thoughts of the accident out of his head. He had been replaying it over and over again trying to make some sense of it all. He was beginning to forget the warnings the mysterious voice in his dream had warned him about. It seemed that as the days went on, he lost more and more of the conversation. Pretty soon he might forget it even happened and he couldn't understand why.

All throughout his life he had an amazing memory. Heero could remember codes and passwords by just taking a glance. But this dream he had was shattering and he was desperately trying to pick back the pieces to little success. There was also something Heero vaguely remembered that was important. The one piece of advice he was given. 

::Follow… something… something is going to lead me…:: Heero sat with the cool wind blowing through his dark hair pondering what it was. ::pines? No that's not right… Gah! Why cant I remember?::

The accident, where Quatre could have died, seemed likely to be what the dream was talking about. ::After all it was 'my' fault and I was able to save him.:: Heero thought. But something wasn't right. It was too easy. If he could just remember the clue, he might be able to put his mind at ease.

He was brought out of his thoughts by someone yelling.

"What the HELL?!! Get away from me you freaks!!" Duo was currently running around them waving his hands above his head. As Heero looked closer he could see two Bumble bees flying in circles around him. Quatre was rolling on the floor laughing while grabbing a smirking Trowa's shoulder for support. Wufei was just mumbling 'baka' under his breath with his arms folded across his chest.

A small smile tugged at the corner of Heero's lips as he watched the scenes unfold around him. Everyone seemed so happy, so at peace. They no longer were in the war, no longer had to kill, and could now enjoy life to the fullest.

Heero wondered if he could ever become apart of the happiness, if he could ever let go of his ghosts. But right now it seemed a far away dream. He could never be normal, he could never live like they did. Heero wasn't programmed to deal with peace time, wasn't taught the art of 'having fun'. Even if he wanted to… his ghosts would always be their to remind him in his dreams that he wasn't worthy.

Guilt. Such a terrible emotion. 

A person will become guilty when killing thousands without killing himself. 

Heero, the voice in his head will remind him and taunt of his guilt him until he goes insane.

Heero knew, he knew he might never escape his sins, he would always be reminded of them. 

Yet.

He didn't know how much longer he had left, before he snaps. Before he gets sucked into his nightmares, never to come out again. The thought scared him. 

Heero felt himself shiver. Goose bumps appeared on his arms and he started to rub his hands up and down to cause friction and warmth. 

"Are you cold, Heero?" Duo asked.

Heero didn't really feel like explaining that he was just thinking about getting sucked into a nightmare and never coming out, so he just nodded his head in reply.

"Hmmm want to go inside then?" Duo asked, then quickly added, "I'm a little cold myself." 

He could tell Duo was trying to make him feel like he wasn't forcing him to leave. In truth Duo probably wanted to stay out and have fun. 

"Aa."

They got up, leaving behind Trowa, Quatre and Wufei who were currently in discussion about the game of monopoly for reasons Heero didn't want to know. The walk back to the estate was rather quiet except for Duo's soft humming. Out of the corner of his eye Heero studied the braided boy. He could see that Duo looked happy, more so than he had been since coming out from L2. A small smile set upon his lips, but it quickly disappeared as Duo looked at him. He hoped Duo didn't notice, but his hopes were shattered as the braided boy started to laugh.

He felt the blush spread on his cheeks. Duo seemed to not notice as he grabbed Heero by the elbow, being mindful of the wrists, and took off running. "Come on, I wanna do something fun."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An hour later, Duo and Heero were peering into the glass door of an oven. They had decided to try and make some cookies, well Duo had decided and Heero followed him. The kitchen had flour and sugar everywhere, there was a little bit of dough in Heero's hair from when Duo had thrown some at him, and there was a nice big pile of dishes sitting in the sink. Heero groaned as he thought of the dishes. 

It had been actually a fun hour, Heero who had no cooking skills at all had found that baking cookies was not all that hard as long as you followed the directions. It took them two batches to get them perfect, since Duo had accidentally mixed up the salt and sugar in the first batch.

The oven chimed and Duo gave out a "woohoo" as he opened it up to take the cookie sheet out. Heero had to admit, they did look pretty good. Duo had said that round cookies were too boring, so instead they had ended up making giant scythe shape cookies. They were a little too chubby but could altogether be recognized as scythes. 

"AH! We only have twenty minutes until the cook is back!" Heero smirked as Duo raced around the kitchen in a panic. "Well, don't just sit there! Help me clean up." Duo had his hands on his hips and was holding out a spoon towards him accusingly. He was wearing a plaid apron with flour covering most of it. His face had speckles of vanilla from when Heero had almost dropped it on him. All and all, Heero found it highly amusing and his smirk was replaced by a smile.

"Hai, Hai." he said while walking over to the sink to start the gruesome task of cleaning pans and bowls. It was pretty hard, he had to go slow in order to not hurt his wrists anymore and accidentally break the stitches. 

He was halfway done when he got distracted by Duo's ass sticking up in the air. The braided boy was currently scrubbing the floor giving Heero a perfect view of his but. After a few minutes Heero realized he had stopped washing and was staring. His face turned a deep shade of pink before he quickly turned away hoping that Duo hadn't noticed. 

Duo had noticed though. He had heard the water running without the usual click and clank of dishes and so he took a quick glance over his shoulder. He smiled when he saw Heero was looking at him, then blushed as he realized exactly 'what' Heero was looking at. He turned away and soon heard the dishes being cleaned again. 

::What the hell was that?:: He smirked inside. ::This could get interesting::

Throughout the rest of the day Duo noticed Heero staring at him… a lot. Although he wasn't making it easy for the poor cobalt eyed boy not to stare, Duo had been non stop flirting with him. 

Duo was being extremely clumsy today in Heero's eyes. So far the braided boy had managed to drop two pencils, a wash cloth, and various other item. Each time he had to bend down to pick them up and Heero found himself staring and blushing. ::What's wrong with me? Since when can I not control my emotions?:: He was getting very irritated at the fact that he was losing his head quickly. 

Heero was however oblivious to Duo smirking every time he caused Heero to fluster. 

~~~~~~~~

Evening came and Heero was sitting in his room by himself. He had finally convinced Duo to let him be by himself for awhile. The emotional turmoil he had gone through today was making him exhausted. Not to mention the fact that he wasn't totally healed yet. He had already started to eat regular meals again and he was almost back into his regular sleeping habit. But the running around he had done today made him feel exhausted all over again. And Duo had not helped with his flirting. 

Heero had finally figured out that Duo had been playing with him. Much to Heero's annoyance, he didn't like being played the fool. He growled in frustration. The braided boy had been on his mind all day and he was trying desperately to stop thinking of him. ::Well I'm not going to get anywhere sitting in my room staring at the ceiling:: He thought to himself. 

Heero stepped out of his room and took a deep breath. He could smell something like mint tea coming from down the hall somewhere. Going on instinct he walked towards the smell and found himself standing outside Quatre's study. Voices could be heard inside which sounded like an argument. Pushing his ear to the door Heero could hear a little of the conversation. 

"There are places that treat things like this you know…" Definitely Quatre.

"No way in HELL am I just going to sit back and watch as he gets put in one of those damn places! He is not some mental case damn it!" Duo's loud voice startled Heero for a second and he almost jumped. Luckily he didn't and he did not give himself away.

"It's not a mental institution Duo! it's a treatment facility, they can help him with the nightmares and…" Quatre was cut off by something Duo said, he was now talking in lower tones and Heero couldn't make it out. But that was enough, he backed away from the door slowly and walked to his room not caring if his footsteps were heard.

He closed the door behind him and slid down against it until he was sitting on the floor. His eyes were wide as he relayed what he just heard. 

::They know. They know about my nightmares…:: His breathing came faster and he felt his hands starting to shake. ::Duo told them about my nightmares:: He was hyperventilating now and he had to force himself to clear his mind in order to stop. He tried to focus on something else but his mind kept spinning around, ::I trusted him… He told… They know… Oh god! They want to send me away!:: 

The room started to blur out of focus, he could feel someone trying to push against the door. His body wouldn't move though. Voices filled the room and he just kept staring as the darkness slowly surrounded him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duo sat by the bed staring at the sleeping boy. Quatre, Trowa and Wufei were also crowded around the bed with confused looks on their faces. 

"What happened?" Quatre asked after several minutes of silence.

Putting his head in his hands Duo sighed, "I think he heard us."

"Shit!" Wufei swore as he started to pace the room. 

Their attention was soon redirected to the sleeping boy as he started to moan in his sleep. Duo took Heero's hand in his and watched as Heero started to toss and turn. Everyone's eyes widened as soft moans turned into loud screams.

"Heero! Wake up!" Duo now had his hands on both of Heero's shoulders pinning him down to the bed. Trowa and Wufei were also by his side keeping him from kicking. "HEERO!"

After a couple minutes, cobalt blue eyes opened wide and took in his surroundings. Relief rushed through Heero as he saw he was out of his nightmare and back into the reality that was his room. Duo was peering over him with a worried look on his face which caused his chest to tighten. The cold soldier mask fell into place and Heero looked expressionlessly at all of rooms occupants. 

"Get out."

"Heero wha-" Duo was cut off by when Heero glared at him.

"I said. Get Out." 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Gah… I'm not really happy with this chapter… ::sigh:: Oh well. Thanks for the reviews!!


	14. CH13. Follow

Heero stared at the closed door long after his so called 'friends' had left. He didn't understand, how could they want to send him away? Didn't they realize that all he really wanted was to be happy with them? Going to some treatment center wasn't going to help him at all. 

Duo. What Duo had done hurt. He had just gone and told them what he didn't want anyone to know. His deepest fears, the reasons for him wanting to die. He had told them, they all knew. Heero felt betrayed, but he couldn't bring himself to get mad at Duo. He wanted more than anything to just feel anger towards the braided boy so he could find an emotional release. He needed someone to take his anger out on. Needed to hit something. Wanted to feel the pain take away his hurt. 

But instead, Heero just sat there staring at the ceiling. Nothing good would come out of broken furniture. Besides, the chair didn't make him mad, it was the people. They started it all in the first place, bringing him into the world, making him kill, making him feel pain, shooting him, giving him rules to break, setting up boundaries, saving him with their hospitals, hurting him with their words. Then he goes and saves all of the people who made him feel so miserable. Maybe he should have just let them all perish, and they could have joined the thousands of people who had died under him. Join them in his nightmares, haunt him until he went crazy.

He sighed, regretting his thoughts. ::Anger makes people think and feel irrationally.:: He concluded to himself as he laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. ::They only wanted to help I'm sure. And I never told Duo that he couldn't tell anyone about the nightmares.:: Just as quickly as it had come, Heero felt his anger leaving him. He didn't feel like being mad at them, it was his fault he had problems and he was the one who had gotten them involved. 

Maybe he should go away somewhere, so that they wouldn't have to deal with him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*****

"Eh? When did I fall asleep?" Duo looked around and found himself in his 'dream' clearing. But it was different, it was now really hot and all of the plants looked like they had died. "What the hells going on here?" 

Heero was nowhere to be seen so Duo just sat down on the dead grass. He brought his knees up to his chest and looked around wearily. Something didn't feel right. Why was this place dying? ::This is just a dream! Dream's cant die like this!::

Nothing… he couldn't hear anything. No birds, no trees swaying, there wasn't even wind any more. It was like the dream was slowly dying and soon their wasn't going to be anything left. 

"What's happening to this place?" Duo thought out loud as he glanced to the sky. It looked red, like fire, the sun was shining bright orange and all the clouds were gone. He remembered faintly how the other dreams seemed to be dying as well. The grass had slowly turned from green to yellow… and now they were all dead. 

"What will happen next?" 

*****

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero avoided everyone for the whole of the next day part of the one after. He didn't really know how to act or what to say to them. The soldier mask stayed on and hid his emotions perfectly. Duo would glance at him every now and then, his eyes filled with pain. Heero didn't blame him. They had gotten so close within the short time of their reunion and now they were drifting apart. 

::Its my fault… I shouldn't have gotten so mad.:: Heero's shoulders slumped as he sat down at the dinner table. Everyone looked up at him with controlled emotions. They were being careful, as if he would jump out and bark at them if they said something wrong. ::How do I fix this?:: 

Looking around the table he could see Duo across from him looking at his plate like it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen. Heero was sitting next to Wufei, like he used to before he was pushed to the other side of the table.

Trowa and Quatre were sitting next to each other their chairs were surprisingly close together and Heero wondered if he was missing something. He studied them for a while and came to the conclusion that he obviously 'was' missing something. There was something going on with them that was unmistakably more than friendship. It made him look at Duo's face once again, his chest hurt as he saw the sadness laying there.

Down the table he could hear Quatre's sisters in a big debate. Heero suddenly realized that a short blond haired girl hadn't been hanging around him like usual. Quatre had probably talked to her, ::Thank god!::

The meal was finished in almost silence, no one seemed to be in the talking mood, and Heero glanced up at Duo trying to get his attention.

Duo looked up when he felt eyes on him, he was surprised to see it was Heero's. The blue eyed boy got up and motioned for Duo to follow. The palms of his hands started to sweat as he was led to Heero's room. Heero hadn't said anything the whole way and he was getting nervous. 

The past two days had been hell for him, he knew Heero was mad at him. He felt like such a jerk and was afraid that Heero would never open up to him again. When the soldier mask was put back on Heero's face, Duo wanted to scream. He never realized he would be so frightened thinking that Heero was going to cave in and go back to being emotionless.

As the door shut behind them Duo couldn't help but start rambling, "Heero, I… I wanted to apologize…"

"Do you even know what you are apologizing for?" Heero interrupted, looking directly into the violet eyes only a foot away.

"I… your mad at me, I made you mad…"

"You told them about me having nightmares, they wanted to send me away… yes I was mad," Heero bit his lip and his eyes moved to the floor. His fingernails were digging into his palm making him wince slightly before he unclenched his fists.

"NO!" Duo moved forward and lifted Heero's chin. "We would never send you away if you didn't want to be sent. We were only discussing a possible treatment. I know that I shouldn't have told them about…" He took a deep breath. "I wanted to help you Heero… I couldn't do it myself. Quatre is smart and he knows more about these kinds of things. I only wanted to help… I'm sorry." 

Duo's hands were now shaking and Heero could see that he was having a hard time trying to keep himself from crying. "I know… actually, I brought you here so I could apologize to 'you'." Duo's eyes widened in question. "I shouldn't have gotten so mad, I'm sorry. I know you were only trying to help… its just… I felt…" He couldn't get the words out, but somehow he knew Duo would understand. 

Happiness flooded inside Duo. All the agony he was going through washed away as he looked at the confused boy in front of him. Suddenly he didn't care about the consequences anymore, didn't care about what would happen, Duo flung himself at Heero and hugged him.

Surprise was the first thing that went through his mind when he looked down at the boy who had his head buried in his shirt. After getting over his shock, he wrapped his arms around Duo in return. Duo's shoulders were now shaking and Heero feared for a second that he was crying. But Duo lifted his head with a big smile on his face and laughter filled the room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the week went by pretty well, Heero had made up with everyone. Duo and him were on a 'more than good' bases with each other. And the braided boy was still constantly flirting with Heero, not that he minded though. 

No one talked about sending Heero to treatment centers after Heero had explained to Duo that the only place he wanted to be was with his friends. It was 'almost' perfect. The only downside was that Heero's dreams seemed to be getting worse. Some nights he would wake up and feel so sick that he would have to run to the bathroom to throw up. He was getting scared, he didn't know how much more he could take and not sleeping was not an option. 

Duo had helped him through a lot of the nightmares. Quatre had moved another bed into Heero's room and Duo had taken it upon himself to wake Heero up if his nightmares were getting too bad. He appreciated the care, but he knew that Duo was losing a lot of sleep because of him. It was guilt all over again.

Two weeks went by and it was time for Heero to return to the hospital to get his stitches out. Duo had volunteered to take him, but he had other plans awaiting him. Someone 'mysteriously' drugged the braided boy and now he was sleeping softly back in his room. The trip back into town would make the exhausted boy even more tired and Heero wanted to give him some rest with out worrying him. 

So here he was sitting next to Wufei, once again in the passenger seat of the car. The ride was mostly silent since Wufei was not much of a talker. But Heero unfortunately mentioned Wufei's sword collection and ended up having to listen to the seven different types of blades and their origins. 

An hour later they finally arrived at the hospital. Wufei parked the car and was about to get out when Heero told him to stay and wait for him. He would most likely just be sitting in the waiting room while Heero was getting his stitches out anyway.

He made his way out of the car and up the ramp towards the hospital door. The bright sunlight felt good after being cooped up in a car and Heero stretched his shoulders and back while taking in the fresh air. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the short man that suddenly stepped out of the hospital door. They both ended up colliding sending papers sprawled onto the floor.

"Ah, gomen…" He looked at the doctor and recognized him to be none other than, "Dr. Wood!" The short man looked startled for a minute looking at Heero confused.

"Oh! Now I remember! How are you doing Mr. Yuy? Its been awhile since I've seen you last." He examined Heero quickly through the glasses he was wearing. "You look good! I'm glad to see you aren't getting yourself into anymore trouble." 

"Aa." Deciding to help the doctor, Heero bent down and started picking up papers. One of them caught his eye, it was a bowling league advertisement. Their logo was of a bowling ball with three bowling pins behind it. The words "Champs Bowling" were in bright yellow letters circling them. He stared at it for a moment transfixed. ::Why does this seem familiar?::

His thoughts were interrupted by the doctor rambling on about something. 

"Drat! I know it was here somewhere." He was searching through the papers desperately looking for something. "Oh great! I probably left it on my desk." He sighed and got up off of the floor. Heero handed him the papers and watched him go back into the hospital building. 

An uneasy feeling came over him as he saw the man disappear around a corner inside. ::Why cant I remember… this familiar feeling… something important…:: He slowly made his way into the building and turned the same corner as the doctor. The doctor was now at the end of the hallway and Heero picked up his pace. Something inside of him was telling him that he should follow the doctor. And so he did.


	15. CH14. Truth of Dreams

^

An uneasy feeling came over him as he saw the man disappear around a corner inside. ::Why cant I remember… this familiar feeling… something important…:: He slowly made his way into the building and turned the same corner as the doctor. The doctor was now at the end of the hallway and Heero picked up his pace. Something inside of him was telling him that he should follow the doctor. And so he did.

^

Heero _followed_ the good doctor back inside the building.

He _followed_ him up the elevator and down the hallways. 

He _followed_ him and all the while the doctor, being in such a hurry, didn't even seem to notice the silent boy tailing him.

Heero _saw_ the doctor as he walked past nurses, walked past patients on their way to the Emergency Room.

He _saw_ as the doctor was suddenly grabbed by one of these patients.

He _saw_ Dr. Wood stand frozen with fear as the tall male patient pointed a gun straight for his head.

Heero _watched_ as the guards pulled out their guns to no success. 

He _watched _the patient take the doctor hostage, yelling and screaming.

He _watched _as if in slow motion as the mans finger squeezed slightly on the trigger.

Heero _remembered _something.

He _remembered _the dream, the warning.

He _remembered _what he was suppose to do.

~Three pins will show you the way~

Heero _ran _with speed he forgot he had.

He _ran _towards the doctor.

He _ran _in front of the gun, successfully pushing the doctor out of the way.

Heero _fell _backwards.

He _fell _to the ground.

He _fell _in a pile of blood, his own blood.

Heero _felt _darkness approaching.

He _felt _the slight pain in his head.

He _felt _the world spinning around him and he closed his eyes and welcomed the blackness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*******

Back in the cell, back into his nightmare, Heero sat on the cold rock floor. Around him chains littered the ground. A man was standing before him smiling, showing his yellow teeth. His long black tangled hair fell below his shoulders and was swaying slightly as the man walked closer.

Heero stared at his gray eyes with a blank expression, this seemed to make the mans smile widen and he burst out laughing. Not the jolly kind of laughing, but the real crazy mad man kind of laugh. A laugh that Heero was familiar with, since he used to laugh like that when fighting in the war. It sent chills down his spine and he had to turn his head away.

The man stopped abruptly, anger filling his eyes. "Mission complete… that's what you always say isn't it? Well I guess I could tell you that my 'Mission' is now complete." 

Heero looked back to the man with confused eyes. 

"Oh? Not going to ask what my mission was… I know your curious. How do I know? Well… because I am apart of you!" The man smirked and licked his lips together.

"What are you talking about?" Heero finally said. After the words came out of his mouth he knew he should have stayed silent for the man started laughing at him again.

"Why… that was easier than I thought! And since you asked me so nicely, I think I might answer you." He chuckled some more and then came within an inch of Heero's face. He wanted to back away from the vile breath blowing in his face, but like usual he couldn't move in his dream He was helpless. The man continued, "Well let me tell you this 'first', you are dead! Aha! Dead… dead… and you will be forever here, in this… well, you would call it a 'nightmare' now wouldn't you?"

Heero felt his eyes widening, and his heart started to beat faster. "I'm dead?" 

"Why… yes you are." Laughter once again filled the room making Heero wish his dream came with a pair of ear plugs. 

"Who are you?" Heero's voice was cold and emotionless. 

"I'm shocked! I cant believe you don't remember! Well I guess you wouldn't since you never saw me… hmmm? But does my 'voice' not sound at 'all' familiar?"

::Voice?:: Suddenly it came to him. He recognized the voice from his dream, the dream that had told him that the doctor was going to die. ::But what is he doing here? And why is he so happy that I am dead? I thought he was helping me.::

"Who are you?" Heero asked again.

"Tsk, Tsk, naughty, naughty… I don't think you are in any position to be demanding answers from me. As far as I can see you cant even move!" A long fingered hand reached out and took a hold of Heero's chin. "Such a pretty little thing you are. I am going to have fun with you!" The man opened his mouth and tilted Heero's face to the side. Heero cringed as he felt the mans tongue lick down his cheek.

"Let. Go. Of me." Anger welled up inside of him. Heero was pissed, pissed because he could not move, pissed because he was so helpless. To his surprise the man actually backed away with a look of pain.

"You brat! How dare you demand things of me! You should be grateful I let you save your little doctor man." He snarled.

"What are you talking about?" This was becoming too confusing for Heero. This man was making no sense. 

"Ah yes… well I guess it would be worth my while to tell you the 'whole' story." The black haired mans lips curled up into a grin. "I'll put it simply… you've been 'used', tricked. By me." The expression on his face showed that he was proud of himself. It just made Heero even angrier. 

"Once upon a time their was a boy," the man started while pacing around the room. "Now this boy was not a normal boy… no, this boy was special!" His yellow teeth showed again as he grinned. "This boy… hated himself, more than anything in the world. He hated himself so much that he made it a habit to try and kill himself. Well this didn't go unnoticed… no… this attracted the attention of one certain individual." 

Heero shivered, he did not like where this was going. The man was creeping him out, and he could do nothing but listen to his voice as it got louder and louder as the speech progressed.

"I was attracted to this boy's hate. Well anyone of my kind would be, and I must tell you… I had a heck of a time getting to him, what with all the others hounding him and all. Anyways, this boy… welcomed me with open arms, or you could say open mind. He let me into his mind, let me into his dreams. I was able to live happily off of his fears for awhile." The mans face twisted into an angry scowl. 

"But NO! That stupid brat had to come along and ruin EVERYTHING!" The chains on the floor started to rattle and Heero could see a weird red energy coming out of the man. Sparks were flying out of him, making him seem like a sparkler. It took a minute before the sparks went away and the mans face returned to his evil grinning self. "So… this brat came along and pretty much started making the boy 'not so self hating'. Well, I couldn't have that. No, no, no one messes with me! I came up with a plan…" His eyes were glinting with a kind of craziness that made Heero dread what was coming next.

"I made the boy try and kill himself, I made him hate himself so much that he went ahead and did it! I made 'you'… slit your wrists." His evil laugh filled the tiny cell once again as he pointed on of his long bendy fingers at Heero.

Heero growled and tried desperately to move. If he could just get free maybe he could strangle the man who he had come to hate within minutes.

"Calm down and let me finish my story… Its rather good! I'm 'sure' you'll want to hear the rest." A chair appeared out of thin air which the black haired man sat down on still facing Heero. He cleared his throat for effect, and continued. "Anyway… I had this plan, to get the boy back. I decided that the best way would be to…" He cut himself off and started again and Heero got the faint impression that the man didn't want him to know what he almost said.

"Like I said early I tricked you… and I had sooo much fun doing it! I knew you weren't going to die when you slit your wrists… you see that was all apart of my plan. I would get you to think that… that BRAT, was in danger if you were to die. So you took the choice to 'live'. By doing so I gained you trust… trust that shouldn't have been given out so easily." He said mockingly. "You were a soldier for gods sake… you don't even trust the mail man yet you can trust a voice in your head?"

"Shut up and get to the point or I'll…" Heero growled. He didn't know how much longer he could take of this man. He was already feeling sick just listening to him.

"Or you'll what? Scream at me? I think not." Laughing lightly the man then continued. "I wanted you… uhh dead… for real this time. So I had to set up a way for you die… since you obviously were not going to try and kill yourself again since that… that 'thing' was always on your mind. Duo I think you called him." He yawned and looked to the side acting bored. "The poor brat probably will 'really' kill himself now."

Heero watched this with half lidded eyes. ::What the hell is he getting at? How could he be playing me all along?::

"I gave you a little… clue… and like the good dog you are, you followed it. To make a long story short… you ended up saving that worthless doctor like planned and you died in the process!" Cheerfulness spread throughout his voice and he sat up from his chair walking back over to Heero. "And here you are… you are mine now."

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Woohoo!! only ONE chapter to go… you heard me~ ONE MORE~… and that one will probably be a long one… well, longer than all the other chapters, heh, heh. 

Don't forget to Review! 


	16. CH15. Red's True Colors

__

Well this is the final chapter folks… hope you enjoy!

This chapter might get a little confusing with all of the thinking stuff so…. 

::thoughts::

~voices~

@FB@= flashback

@END FB@= end of the flashback

***where dream starts and ends

^ Previous chapter^

^

"I gave you a little… clue… and like the good dog you are, you followed it. To make a long story short… you ended up saving that worthless doctor like planned and you died in the process!" Cheerfulness spread throughout his voice and he sat up from his chair walking back over to Heero. "And here you are… you are mine now."

^

::Dead? I'm… dead? But if I'm dead… why am I still in this cell… Is this hell?::

"Who are you?" Heero tried asking for the third time, never taking his eyes off of the too cheerful man in front of him.

"Hmm… interesting question that one is! I guess you could call me… a demon, but not. Or a ghost who haunts dreams, but not. Or a man who walks through dreams, but not. Or the reaper of all dreams, but not. I am all of those yet none of those. But you can call me Red."

The man grinned at his little riddle and walked over to the end of the room where the door stood. Heero's breath caught in his throat as 'Red' slowly opened the door. "Yes, yes… be afraid my little pet. Your friends will be here shortly to… play with you." 

Heero never took his eyes off the door. He could feel the fear burning inside of him and seeping out of his body towards Red. ::Wait a minute? Its seeping out of my body?:: Then realization dawned on him. ::This man eats off of my fears. He said something like that himself. Does that mean… The ghosts are his doing? He is the one who controls them, he is the one making me feel like this? Making me feel guilty. Yes… he said so himself… he said he made me slit my wrists…:: Heero's eyes widened for a second as something else dawned on him.

::This man had said he made me slit my wrists yet he knew I wasn't going to die? Why couldn't he just make me do something to really kill myself… What is he hiding?::

"Your lying." It all became clear, Heero knew something wasn't right and what the man had just said may have confirmed that. Throughout the conversation, he picked up bits of hesitancy from this 'Red' man. Something was wrong, he was hiding something. Heero was starting to get a vague idea of what it was.

"Lying? Why… whatever do you mean? I was being very truthful to you!" Red sneered. 

::Well here goes nothing…:: Blue eyes raised and stared at the mocking gray ones. "I think you lying, I don't think I'm actually… dead." For a millisecond the gray eyes flashed something resembling fear before it was replaced by anger. If Heero hadn't seen it he, might have believed the man when he said he was dead.

"W-what? How can you believe that you are alive hmmm? You got shot in the head! You're dead! DEAD!" The man launched forward and attached his arms around Heero's neck squeezing slightly. "You cant deny it… you KNOW you are dead. Admit it!!"

Voices filled his head, telling him he should agree with the man. Choking, Heero managed to get a little bit of air, enough to answer the man with a whispered "no". That answer was not what the man was looking for, Red started to shoot angry sparks again as he picked Heero off of the ground by his neck. 

"Listen to me you little brat… you will believe everything I tell you or I will bring out everyone of your little 'fears'…" He snarled while throwing Heero into the wall. Heero collapsed and fell down on the ground holding his throat taking in deep breaths.

Breaths, how can he breath if he was dead? He stood up off the ground and glared at the man. Surprise ran through him as he realized he could now move freely. ::But for how long?:: The gray eyes were looking towards the door. The door that was always in his dreams… ::dreams… that's it!::

"You even admitted it yourself," Heero walked closer to the man. Fear was no longer in his mind. He had a new mission, to not fall prey to this lunatic. He would get out of this hell and return to Duo, anyway possible. This mad man might get stronger if he showed fear… but what would happen if he fed off of… confidence… happiness? "You told me you were a ghost who haunts dreams, a man who walks through dreams, and the reaper of all dreams. Now this is interesting, I didn't know that dead guys 'had' dreams."

"SHUT UP! You don't know what you are talking about!" The sparks started to transform into long whip like tentacles of energy. Red was now staring frightened at the door as if waiting for something to come out. 

Heero smirked, he was obviously doing something to the man. "I'm not dead." He said simply as he turned his attention to the door also.

Red shrieked and his eyes went wide. "Why aren't they coming? WHERE ARE THEY?" He dropped to his knees and started to shake violently.

"This is my dream… not yours." Heero started, "And therefore, I control what happens in my dream, right?" He walked up to the man who was now shivering on the floor. Heero smiled when he thought of something else. Out of this air a gun appeared. He took it and aimed it at Red.

"NO! I will not lose LIKE this!" Red jumped to his feet and charged at Heero, knocking the gun from his hand. The whip like sparks burned into Heero's skin making him scream and squirm. "Yes… YES, feel fear, be afraid of me!"

Heero closed his eyes, and fought to get free of the long limbs holding him down. Fear… he could feel it coming back inside of him. ::No… stop it… cant lose… wont lose!:: He screamed again as one of the whips hit him in the face, he gave up struggling and laid still. ::This isn't… working…::

~Heero! Please wake up…~ Heero's eyes shot open… he recognized that voice… it was Duo. 

::Duo… that's right, I have to go back to Duo… I… I want to live for him… Need to be with him. I want to be with him.:: All his fear suddenly disappeared and he found himself opening his eyes to look at frightened gray ones.

The mans eyes were wide and he was shaking again. "What are you doing??? Stop thinking like that! You want to die! You've always wanted to die! STOP IT!"

"I want to live." Blue eyes looked seriously at Red. Heero's face showed no fear, no emotions other than determination. He was going to get out of this, for his friends, for Duo… and himself. "I have people who care about me… They are waiting for me, and I will go back to them."

Bright red light filled the room. The man in front of Heero screeched and wailed as if this light was burning him from the inside out. His long fingers curled around his black hair, pulling strands out. Falling to the floor he curled into a ball and looked one last time up at the boy who did this to him. Gray eyes pleaded with Heero without words. 

"Get out of my dream." Heero stated calmly. At that, the man choked back a sob and then was gone. 

The room started to sway suddenly causing Heero to fall to the ground. "What's happening?" The door was now swinging open and shut numerous time before simply flying off of the hinges. Rocks started falling from the ceiling and Heero found himself desperately trying to dodge them. 

The floor finally gave way just as the ceiling was about to and Heero felt himself falling. He fell back into the blackness where he had first heard Red's voice. He was back into the nothingness. 

::What the hell? Why am I back here?:: This time no one was there to answer his question, and he wondered idly what had happened to the man who haunted his dreams. If he could be called a man at all, he was more like a demon. Heero sat in the darkness for what seemed like forever, he felt helpless once again. ::Why am I stuck here? I want to go back! I want to go home!::

Suddenly Heero could see a tiny light far down below. He made his way to it blindly, going on instinct. The light grew brighter and the next thing he knew he was flat on his face on hard ground. "What the?"

*********

Duo sat in the middle of nowhere, looking at nothing, thoughts drifting to Heero. "Hmm… this dream world is looking pretty bad." 

Duo had fallen asleep while at the hospital, it seemed he was there too much lately, and the present situation had him by Heero's side in the hospital almost twenty four hours a day. 

His thoughts drifted back to the accident. He had been asleep at the time, it seems someone had drugged him, which he wasn't very happy about. Quatre had woken him up and Duo had been frightened by the tears in his light blue eyes. Automatically fearing for the worst he had demanded to know what was wrong. It took the blond boy another ten minutes to finally calm down and tell him about Heero being shot. 

@FB@

"Quatre! Calm down and tell me what's wrong!" Duo demanded of the blond boy. Trowa was now holding him in an embrace looking just as confused as Duo. 

"W-Wufei called…" He started as he tried desperately to wipe away the remains of his tears.

"Is something wrong with Heero?! What happened?! Is he alright?! Did they get in another accident?!" In a panicked voice Duo asked loudly as he grabbed on to the front of Quatre's shirt.

"DUO! Your making it worse." Trowa scolded. Quatre was now crying harder from Duo's outburst and Trowa had an almost scared look on his face. Another of the emotions that Duo would have been amazed to see if he hadn't been so hysterical.

Taking a couple deep breaths Quatre finally continued. "Y-you need to go to the hos- hospital. Heero was… Heero was s-shot… in the head… it went thr-"

Duo didn't hear the rest of what Quatre was saying. His brain just repeated the word 'shot' over and over again like a broken record. ::no… Why? Why does Heero always…::

"DAMN IT!" Picking up the nearest object, Duo threw it across the room. He heard a shatter and realized it must have been a vase or something. He wasn't to sure, and he really didn't care at the moment. He stormed out of the room, his destination the hospital. 

The next hour went by in a daze, he didn't know quite how he got to the hospital, he was to unfocused. Duo couldn't help but think that if Heero died, he would die too. 

Walking into the emergency room, Duo saw Wufei standing by one of the doors with his head in his hands. "Wufei!"

The Chinese man looked up at him, his face showing horror. "Duo… I… should have gone in with him… could have…" 

"Snap out of it and tell me how Heero is God damnit! Where is he? What happened?" Duo snarled.

Wufei looked pretty shaken up, he felt like he had betrayed everyone's trust. He was suppose to make sure Heero was alright, suppose to watch over him. Failure, that's what he felt like. He swallowed his thoughts and explained what had happened to Duo. His voice was surprisingly calm, betraying the turmoil that was going on inside of him. 

"For what I know, there was a gang shootout. One of the gang members were brought to the hospital with a leg wound. The… police, they were suppose to be watching him… but he somehow had a gun which he held on one of the doctors." Wufei took in a deep breath, "Heero… they say, pushed the doctor out of the way of the mans bullet. He… got shot instead of the doctor. But…" His brows furrowed and Duo could see that he was confused about something.

"But?" 

"I don't understand, Heero was suppose to be on the other side of the building getting his stitches taken out. He wasn't suppose to be there…"

"Don't worry about that now! How… how's Heero doing?" Duo asked. His heart started to beat faster as he thought of Heero sitting somewhere on an operating slate. 

"He just got out of the operating room. He… its not looking so good."

"What do you mean?" Duo asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"He's in a coma. There are not any guarantees that he'll… wake up. And they still are not sure if he'll…"

"Where is he, I want to see him NOW."

@END FB@

Duo had stayed by Heero's side most of the time after that. Quatre was a wreck and became sick every time he came into the hospital room. Trowa had explained later that Quatre was getting some horrible feelings off of the sleeping Heero. 

Now, Duo was asleep on a chair beside the white hospital bed. He was actually relieved to see he was back in the dream clearing, or what was left of it. It brought him hope that Heero would appear soon. Just as his thoughts went back to the short haired boy there was a loud 'thump' from behind. Whirling around towards the sound Duo's eyes went wide when he saw a body face down on the ground.

"Heero!" Heero turned and saw Duo standing wide eyed in the middle of… well, nothingness. The sky was now a purple color with an eerie looking moon hanging between black clouds. What was once a beautiful clearing of trees and grass was now a pile of black dirt. It was dark like night time, something you would see in old horror films of the graveyard. 

"What's happened here?" He asked the braided boy. 

Duo didn't answer. After he got over his shock of seeing Heero, he ran up and threw his arms around him. "God Heero… I… wont you wake up?"

"Wake up? What are you talking about?" As glad as he was to see Duo, even if it was only in his dream, he felt something was wrong. 

"Your… The accident… Coma." Tears were running down his smooth cheek and he was looking at Heero with sadness filled eyes. "They said you might n-never wake up." He was sniffing and trying desperately to wipe the tears away. He did not want to cry, Shinigami wasn't suppose to cry, but when he had found out that Heero was seriously hurt he felt like a piece of him was missing. Duo wanted more than anything for those blue eyes to open up and smile at him, to tell him everything was going to be ok. But days went by and Heero had made no sign of awakening. Depression was starting to eat at him and he was becoming weaker from lack of food. He wanted to stay and hold on to Heero's hand forever, but he knew it wasn't possible. 

"Coma?" Confusion filled Heero's blue eyes and he tightened his grip on the still sobbing boy. ::That explains it… Red must have wanted me to go into a coma, that way he could…:: He shuddered and drew his thoughts away from the situation he had just been in.

"Y-you got shot… and you've been asleep for t-two weeks, I think."

"WHAT?" Had he really been dreaming for two whole weeks? Maybe he was in the darkness longer than he thought. After all, how can someone tell time while dreaming? It hadn't even occurred to Heero that he might have been gone that long. What had happened while he was gone? Duo seemed to be emotionally drained as it was.

"Heero… Heero… Heero…" Duo was holding on to him like he thought he might disappear if he let go. Watching him like this made Heero's heart twist in agony.

"I'm sorry Duo, I'm so sorry." Pressing his head against the top of Duo's head, Heero sighed. He always seemed to make Duo sad.

"NO!" Violet eyes looked up, "Its not your fault!" 

Heero was about to comment when a cold chill ran down his spine as he felt a familiar presence. Looking around he stared in disbelief into cold gray eyes looking directly at Duo. About three feet from where they stood, Red was standing grinning wickedly at Duo.

"Shit!" Heero grabbed Duo by the hand and pulled him behind his back. Glaring at the man, he asked, "What do you want?"

The man chuckled, "You didn't think you'd get rid of me 'that' easily now did you?" Even though he was speaking to Heero, his cold gray eyes never left Duo. "So this is the one… I must admit, he is quite gorgeous. Oh! And his mind might be just what I've been looking for."

"Stay away from him." Anger coursed through Heero's veins. 

"I do believe that you are not to decide these things." The man disappeared and Heero jumped slightly when he reappeared quickly behind them, reaching a hand out to Duo. "Duo… is it?" His eyes roamed over the braided boys slim figure. Then looked directly into confused violet eyes. "You don't deserve Heero." 

Duo felt his heart start to beat faster, and his blood was running cold. "W-who?"

"You are worthless, you do not deserve Heero. He would never want you." The gray eyes seemed to darken slightly, "Come with me!"

::I don't deserve Heero… I don't, I failed him. Its all my fault:: Duo took a step towards the man. He heard Heero yelling something behind him, but he could not understand it. For some reason he was being drawn to the man, did he want to be punished? ::What's happening to me? I…:: A hand grabbed his and he was turned abruptly around to face the scared looking Heero. He was saying something again, but Duo couldn't hear. The voices in his head seemed to be blocking every other sound out. 

~_Don't deserve him… failed him… must leave_.~ He tried to get the hand holding him to let go, but the grip just tightened. 

::Why? Why does he hold on to me? I don't deserve him. Do I not deserve him? When did I start thinking like that?:: He was confused and starting to get scared. One voice was telling him to run away, another was saying to not listen. ::WHAT THE HELL?!:: The voices became louder.

~_You must be punished_~

~_You failed him~_

::Failed?::

~_Don't deserve him_~

~_Deserve to be miserable_~

::Why? I… cant remember::

~_You left him, he got hurt because you left him all alone_~

::What?::

~_You left him… went away to L2, left him alone. Alone.~_

::But… Was I… the cause of his suffering?::

__

~Yes~

~Its all your fault.~

A scream tore through the silence of the dream world. Duo collapsed onto the ground holding his head in his hands. "NO!" he yelled. "Stop… I don't know… what to think… just SHUT UP!"

"Duo! Duo answer me!" Heero's scared voice was finally heard. Duo looked up at him and saw his eyes were wide and he was shaking hard.

"Heero?" Relief washed over Heero's face and he took a hold of Duo's shoulders, in order to look into the scared violet pools.

"Are you ok?"

How could he answer that? Duo was not entirely alright but he didn't want to worry Heero. "I don't know…" He looked around and saw that the man was still standing there with a smirk on his lips. "What's going on?"

"Listen to me Duo, do not listen to him! Do you understand?" Heero's eyes flashed back to the anger he was feeling as he looked at the black haired man. 

"Who is he?"

"I don't really know… but he is the one who caused me to have those nightmares." As Heero said this Duo felt his eyes grow wide. He looked over to the man and felt anger welling up inside of him.

"You?"

Red seemed startled for a second. He wasn't expecting the braided boy to change from frightened to angry so quickly. "He's lying… you are the cause of his nightmares. Its all your fault!"

"My fault?" Duo asked.

"NO!" Heero yelled. "Don't listen to him! Trust me."

Reds eyes turned dark again and Duo heard the voices returning to his mind. ::Stop… no… I understand now… you are trying to hurt Heero through me aren't you? I will not let him suffer anymore. GET OUT OF ME HEAD!:: He screamed in his mind.

Red growled and took a step back. "Why cant I control you!?"

"I will never let you touch him!" Heero took a step towards Red and concentrated. Out of the thin air a sword was produced. He smirked as he saw the horror flashing through the demons face. 

"H-how?"

"This is a dream remember… This is MY dream, things happen my way." Holding out the sword he pressed it against the frozen mans throat. "You are not wanted here! Therefore, you must be eliminated." In one swift movement the sword was thrust through Red's neck. 

Red tried to scream but no sound would come out. He couldn't move, he couldn't breath. Black liquid came pouring out of his mouth, his eyes closed and he felt himself starting to grow weak. If he could somehow move… but he couldn't… there was no escape. He was dying.

Duo watched in fascination as the man crumpled to the ground when Heero pulled out the sword. Heero turned his face towards Duo and had a smile on his lips. "What just happened?" Duo asked when he finally got over the shock.

Heero sighed and looked up to the sky. "I'll explain it to you someday. But right now I think we need to get back to reality." He frowned as he took in the surroundings once again. "What's happened here?"

Smiling Duo walked over and grabbed a hold of Heero's hand. "Not sure… but something tells me we don't need this place anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I think its dying, because we no longer have a use for it." Duo replied looking happily at the confused blue eyes.

"We don't need it anymore… I guess we don't." His arms wrapped lightly around Duo and he nuzzled his head in Duo's chestnut hair. "Because we have each other now."

Smiling, Duo nodded, "Shall we go home?"

"Aa."

"I could really use some food… preferably blueberry pancakes." 

"Hai Hai!"

*******

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero woke up to an annoying buzzing sound. He groaned and opened his eyes only to shut them quickly because of the brightness of the lights. After a minute he was able to open them and take a look around. He laughed softly as he took in all the equipment around him… He seemed to be in the hospital way too much lately. 

A soft moan brought his attention away from all the tubes and machines. Duo was on a chair next to the bed with his head bent to the side. ::Ow… that does not look comfortable:: Heero thought.

Duo slowly lifted his head and rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hand. After yawning a couple of times he finally looked towards the figure on the bed expecting him to be fast asleep. Duo was not expecting to see cobalt eyes looking at him in amusement.

He stared in shock for a moment before finding his voice. "Heero! Your awake!" Tears spilled from his eyes once again as he ran towards the bed and wrapped his arms around Heero's neck. "Heero…"

"Baka… why are you crying?" Heero's hand came up to catch one of the tears. 

"Heero… your awake… awake…" Duo's grip tightened on Heero's arms and he buried his face in the short haired boys this hospital gown. 

Heero's heart fluttered when Duo embraced him. It hurt a little to see him cry, but he knew it was just because the braided boy had been so worried. Lifting his chin he looked into the violet pools spilling over with tears.

"Everything's alright now Duo… I wont leave you again." He leaned in and pressed his lips against Duo's cheek, tasting the salty tears. Violet eyes widened slightly and Heero was happy to note that he had stopped crying. He was scared for a minute when Duo just sat there staring at him mouth hanging open, but then he smiled, a smile Heero had missed a lot. This smile was filled with love, reserved only for him.

Duo leaned in till he was only a breath apart from Heero, "I missed you." He closed the distance and their lips met. Heero felt like he would burst with happiness, he had never before experienced something quite like this. Finally happy, he no longer hated himself. He had Duo now, and Duo needed him. He wanted this moment of perfect ness to last forever, unfortunately Duo's stomach disagreed. 

Duo's stomach growled loudly and they both broke the kiss. Heero opened his eyes that he didn't realize he had closed and looked at a blushing Duo.

Scratching the back of his head Duo grinned sheepishly. "Heh… guess I'm a little hungry."

Chuckling, Heero smirked as he remembered the dream. "Guess we should go get some blueberry pancakes then."

Violet eyes widened once more. "So… that…that wasn't 'just' a dream after all!" He stood up still having a look of amazement on his face. "Hey… you still have to tell me who that one scary looking guy was!"

"Aa, I'll tell you if you go get me some food." 

"Yes sir! One order of blueberry pancakes coming up." He mock saluted and spun around intending on walking out the door. Instead he found himself falling backwards onto the hospital bed. The short haired boy had his hand wrapped around Duo's waist and was pulling him into an embrace. Surprised, Duo opened his mouth to speak but was silenced by Heero's lips on his once again.

"You taste much better than blueberry pancakes." Heero teased, pulling away and letting the flustered Duo get back on his feet. Duo's face flushed red and he was looking at Heero in amazement. 

"I didn't think you were the blushing type." Heero commented.

Growling, Duo slapped Heero on the arm softly. "And I never knew you to be so daring." He started to walk away for real this time. For some reason finally feeling safe leaving Heero, he knew Heero would be in his bed when he came back. "Be back soon!" He darted out of the room intending on keeping his promise to come back quickly. 

Heero watched his love leave the room, the braid swinging back and forth. "I'll never leave you again, and hopefully I will never have to see you cry once more." Heero whispered to no one. 

Finally after years of nightmares, Heero felt at peace. And he somehow knew that the nightmares were gone for good. As long as he was happy, as long as Duo was by his side… he felt they would never come back. 

And they never did. 

~Owari~

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WAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Hmm so what did you think?? PLEASE do tell! it's the end! Finally the end… and I told you this chapter was long! 


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